The people I talk to at my work think I am crazy for the way I am behaving with the stbx, apparently I am being too nice (if there is such a thing).
My stbx was going to let me keep the house (as long as I cleared him of debt). I felt guilty about that and so I had a realtor come in and price the house to see if we could make money on the sale - when I found out we could, I decided it would be the best for both of us and agreed to sell it. People tell me that I should have lied to him and keep the house! I can't fathom doing that - and as much as it pains me to loss the house, I know it is the right thing to do.
My stbx and I talked about filing taxes this year and he insisted we do them separately (probably because I am horrible at taxes and it was a form of punishment). When I pointed out to him that he would probably have to pay, whereas I would probably get a refund; I mentioned to him that this would be either a joint debt or credit and it should be split 50/50 - he agreed. The people I talk to think I am stupid for this.
My ex MIL is an amazing cook, but always works from ancient family recipes. A few years ago I decided to make her a cookbook of all these recipes and distribute them to the 'girls' of the family. Last year, she mentioned that she would like it updated, if possible, and I willingly agreed. Now that I have split from her son, HE (not the MIL) has asked for the cookbook back! I told him outright "no, your mother will have to wait until I can finish the update". He was shocked, but it was a promise I made to his mother (and grandmother) and I am not about to be the person who breaks promises.
So I ask any of you who are reading my journal - do you think I am crazy? Are the things that I am doing too nice? Is there a proper way to behave when your husband leaves you for someone else? Should I be bitter and resentful?
My answer - I truly beleive in Charma. I know that how I handle myself now, will be reflected in the years to come. Someday, sometime in my future, Charma will remember how I behaved in this situation and be able to bring me good luck for some future event.
My stbx was going to let me keep the house (as long as I cleared him of debt). I felt guilty about that and so I had a realtor come in and price the house to see if we could make money on the sale - when I found out we could, I decided it would be the best for both of us and agreed to sell it. People tell me that I should have lied to him and keep the house! I can't fathom doing that - and as much as it pains me to loss the house, I know it is the right thing to do.
My stbx and I talked about filing taxes this year and he insisted we do them separately (probably because I am horrible at taxes and it was a form of punishment). When I pointed out to him that he would probably have to pay, whereas I would probably get a refund; I mentioned to him that this would be either a joint debt or credit and it should be split 50/50 - he agreed. The people I talk to think I am stupid for this.
My ex MIL is an amazing cook, but always works from ancient family recipes. A few years ago I decided to make her a cookbook of all these recipes and distribute them to the 'girls' of the family. Last year, she mentioned that she would like it updated, if possible, and I willingly agreed. Now that I have split from her son, HE (not the MIL) has asked for the cookbook back! I told him outright "no, your mother will have to wait until I can finish the update". He was shocked, but it was a promise I made to his mother (and grandmother) and I am not about to be the person who breaks promises.
So I ask any of you who are reading my journal - do you think I am crazy? Are the things that I am doing too nice? Is there a proper way to behave when your husband leaves you for someone else? Should I be bitter and resentful?
My answer - I truly beleive in Charma. I know that how I handle myself now, will be reflected in the years to come. Someday, sometime in my future, Charma will remember how I behaved in this situation and be able to bring me good luck for some future event.
Replies
Everyone here says I too nice. easy target to be taken advantage of. It is what you could live with in the long run!!! What works for you! I feel the sames way! What is the right thing to do. Finding it hard to go against the grain. seperation and divorce is an ugly drawn out process, full of uncertainties. All you want is peace. Just be care not to hurt yourself!!! If its agreeable, Than why not!!! Keep some sort of sanity!! I know i have felt like I was going insane at one point or another! Starting to be at peace!!! All the LUCK!!! I believe in Charma too!!!