Stressed

So last week I lost my job that I've had for 22 years.  This part actually has nothing to do with my addiction or recovery, but was traumatic, and quite unexpected.  This is made worse because I carry the health insurance for the family, and also am by far the breadwinner.  So now I am looking for new jobs in my particular field, and right now, there just aren't many.  The point of all of this has something to do, a little bit, with my recovery and the progress I've made.  I've not acted out during this period of very high stress, and before, I would have.  No porn.  No excessive masturbation.  I tell you, the reader, this not so I can toot my own horn.  I tell you this so that I can explain how huge a role that a supportive spouse plays in the failure or success of a recovering addict.  A spouse can berate and belittle the recovering addict, out of frustration.  This reaction is understandable, and not unreasonable, based on what we as addicts put them through.  It is also counterproductive to the goals of the relationship as well as the recovery.  It discourages the recovering addict, and makes maintenance of recovery more difficult to attain.  My spouse issued me an ultimatum almost 14 months ago.  She could've left and took the kids with her.  She didn't.  She was firm and unwavering in her commitment to the expectations she placed on me.  She would have kicked me out if I stumbled.  She also was very helpful and supportive when she saw me trying my best to get better.  She led me to saa-recovery.org.  She helped encourage me to seek counseling.  She monitors my phone and computer, and I am glad that she does, rather than defensive, because I do not have anything to hide from her.  I cannot lie; I am very stressed right now.  2 years ago, I would've gone on a long pmo binge, and not cared who I hurt, as long as I could relieve my own stress.  Today, I put my fate and the fate of my loving family in God's hands, and submit myself to his will.  If we have to move to a new town, then that's what we will do.  If we have to sell the house, fine.  But nothing will deter me from continuing my sobriety, and a big part of it, a really big part of my success, is due to my spouse.  Spouses of sex addicts, especially if they are successful in helping the addict stay in recovery, are to be commended, saluted, adored and loved.  Making love to a spouse is a healthy expression of sex, and not a part of addiction.  If it happens, great, but I don't need for it to do every day.  Good luck to everyone out there reading this and struggling.  The struggle is worth it.  But most importantly, do not minimize the role that your higher power, God, has in your recovery.  This is the secret, if there is such a thing, of my success.  Thanks for reading.