Day One
Let's see how many days I can continue this journal.
I am listening to James Taylor right now, James Taylor has a special place in my heart because when I started to truly enter into recovery, his greatest hits CD I played over and over.
I really like the name Taylor, only because I am hella attracted to Taylor Swift, but it also is a name that rolls off the tongue easily. There have been a number of awesome Taylor's, Maurice Taylor, Chuck Taylor, Taylor Made is a nice phrase and brand name too. I have to say I like the name Bob Taylor or Rob Taylor the best.
Enough about Taylor. Today I have a fairly stressful day, and my question after that is "what day isn't stressful for me?" The answer is everyday is a stressful day if you're in this skin, however, if stress is looked at in the right frame of mind with the right attitude, stress can compliment success greatly. I think stress is like stage fright to the entertainer. If the entertainer isn't filled with stage fright, he or she might be overconfident and not give their all. I am about to enter into the corporate world more than likely, and I am learning the stress in that arena can be merciless. There is something about merciless stress that straightens me out if tolerated. I am changing to appreciate the most brutal of stresses and stressors. I am a little different from the average man or woman, I appreciate the brutal asshole who has no mercy when it comes to showing me how cold the world and it's agendas can be. I am also growing to appreciate the experienced woman who isn't afraid to treat me like shit in the name of my own good.
I'd rather learn the truth than be stroked. For instance this chick indirectly told me yesterday that I was basically more fuck meat than personality. That kind of hurt for a while because I thought I had this huge personality that others couldn't help but be amazed by. The truth probably is I am not that awesome and most women would rather just fuck me than have a conversation with me.
Knowing that, it gives me the energy to focus on acquiring money and not learning how to treat women better. In my ego and delusion I thought I was more awesome than I actually am. For some reason I can manage money rather well when not using drugs or drinking alcohol, and I'm still above average in the tasks if I am drinking or drugging. I thought managing money well to be boring though in comparison to attention on women, but knowing I am just the focal point of use and abuse, I think I will amend that priority.
I am going to have to ask God and his people to help me with my obsessions, or the obsessions I often don't even know I am functioning from. I think a man has grown much when he shifts from obessing to focusing on money whether it be earning or managing. Most of us obsess about money, especially if we contain any talent whatsoever, but not all of us can focus on it from a distance knowing it can bite a person in the ass like a snake.
For instance I still have a childish agenda of becoming a superstar, even though I rail against superstars demeaning them and instigating much hate. It looks like God's plan for me is to handle his money, so in around 10 years I probably won't be in the business of writing anything, especially anything that could be used against me or that gives anyone anything to ammo to harm the consolidation in general. After all it is all God's money. There is no such thing as "My Money", it's all God's!
For instance the local Starbucks is sucking, the manager doesn't know how to hire correctly for whatever reason, and if I were to look at it as my money, I would say "I'm not giving those bastards a dime!" Since it it God's money though, you bet your bottom dollar I am going to "make it rain" at that Starbucks, because they need money to hire better managers who can make the right hiring decisions so the business can be better down the road. For instance yesterday they only put one tea bag in a Venti tea. A crime if you're a regular consumer at Starbucks, but I have to shift my attitude to the view of less is better in this regard because they are struggling.
So I will go to Starbucks now and "make it rain." I'm going to go into the establishment and just start throwing money at the cashier. Just kidding, I was just having fun with the making it rain statement, making it rain for me is possibly buying a paper or a Pelligrino for the road, I'm way to conservative and practical to ever "make it rain."
I am listening to James Taylor right now, James Taylor has a special place in my heart because when I started to truly enter into recovery, his greatest hits CD I played over and over.
I really like the name Taylor, only because I am hella attracted to Taylor Swift, but it also is a name that rolls off the tongue easily. There have been a number of awesome Taylor's, Maurice Taylor, Chuck Taylor, Taylor Made is a nice phrase and brand name too. I have to say I like the name Bob Taylor or Rob Taylor the best.
Enough about Taylor. Today I have a fairly stressful day, and my question after that is "what day isn't stressful for me?" The answer is everyday is a stressful day if you're in this skin, however, if stress is looked at in the right frame of mind with the right attitude, stress can compliment success greatly. I think stress is like stage fright to the entertainer. If the entertainer isn't filled with stage fright, he or she might be overconfident and not give their all. I am about to enter into the corporate world more than likely, and I am learning the stress in that arena can be merciless. There is something about merciless stress that straightens me out if tolerated. I am changing to appreciate the most brutal of stresses and stressors. I am a little different from the average man or woman, I appreciate the brutal asshole who has no mercy when it comes to showing me how cold the world and it's agendas can be. I am also growing to appreciate the experienced woman who isn't afraid to treat me like shit in the name of my own good.
I'd rather learn the truth than be stroked. For instance this chick indirectly told me yesterday that I was basically more fuck meat than personality. That kind of hurt for a while because I thought I had this huge personality that others couldn't help but be amazed by. The truth probably is I am not that awesome and most women would rather just fuck me than have a conversation with me.
Knowing that, it gives me the energy to focus on acquiring money and not learning how to treat women better. In my ego and delusion I thought I was more awesome than I actually am. For some reason I can manage money rather well when not using drugs or drinking alcohol, and I'm still above average in the tasks if I am drinking or drugging. I thought managing money well to be boring though in comparison to attention on women, but knowing I am just the focal point of use and abuse, I think I will amend that priority.
I am going to have to ask God and his people to help me with my obsessions, or the obsessions I often don't even know I am functioning from. I think a man has grown much when he shifts from obessing to focusing on money whether it be earning or managing. Most of us obsess about money, especially if we contain any talent whatsoever, but not all of us can focus on it from a distance knowing it can bite a person in the ass like a snake.
For instance I still have a childish agenda of becoming a superstar, even though I rail against superstars demeaning them and instigating much hate. It looks like God's plan for me is to handle his money, so in around 10 years I probably won't be in the business of writing anything, especially anything that could be used against me or that gives anyone anything to ammo to harm the consolidation in general. After all it is all God's money. There is no such thing as "My Money", it's all God's!
For instance the local Starbucks is sucking, the manager doesn't know how to hire correctly for whatever reason, and if I were to look at it as my money, I would say "I'm not giving those bastards a dime!" Since it it God's money though, you bet your bottom dollar I am going to "make it rain" at that Starbucks, because they need money to hire better managers who can make the right hiring decisions so the business can be better down the road. For instance yesterday they only put one tea bag in a Venti tea. A crime if you're a regular consumer at Starbucks, but I have to shift my attitude to the view of less is better in this regard because they are struggling.
So I will go to Starbucks now and "make it rain." I'm going to go into the establishment and just start throwing money at the cashier. Just kidding, I was just having fun with the making it rain statement, making it rain for me is possibly buying a paper or a Pelligrino for the road, I'm way to conservative and practical to ever "make it rain."
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