On 5/22/09...my boyfriend Brad committed suicide.I found his body in our yard.He slit his wrists and that sob planned all of this and I just cant forgive him for it.He knew for 4 months that Stanley was coming from New York to take us to the Mariner game.He knew that I havent seen Stanley in 5 years.He knew that on 6/17./09..it was 6 years that I lost my mother and he knew all of this..Yet...he took the cowards way out and I am just so furious.He never discussed his feelings with me and I am finding out that he had a secret life.And his life just shocks me because I never knew.Brad never discussed these matters with me.So shy guys...do me a favor--STAY AWAY...I AM GETTING SICK OF YOUR SHYNESS AND YOUR SHYNESS IS CAUSING PROBLEMS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.bRAD NEVER GOT OVER his first love...may I ask why? Couldnt he realize that she didnt love him anymore and she wanted to go to Juillard? Julliard school of music is the best in the world and it is everyones dream to go there.It is a hard school to attend because a good friend of mine attended there and guess what? In the 1970s he was on a album with Paul Mccartney! This guys guitar playing is that good...so lets face facts here.Some people are born lucker then others and others have to make their luck (like me)....but Brad never accepted the fact that she was gone and he has kept pictures of her because i found some.why? This was 25 years ago! As for me...I will always be a member of The Class of 1966 and i will never forget some of my classmates.They were good people and I do regret not pursuing some friendships but things were just so different for me then that I couldnt and I can pursue the friendship now.I have got different interests and no man or woman is going to tell me that I cant pursue them.I like going to musuems,reading which I love,good conversation and I love to travel.I also like to do other things on the spur of the moment andthese are things that she/he wasnt interested in.Life is for the living.;It is not for the dead.You must pursue what you like.And I am going back into singing karooke soon and then things will get even better..but remember this...you dont always marry your first love and if you do you are lucky...mine flew the coop years ago and I have got no interest to seeing him,calling him, or establising a relationship with him or others.I am not interested.I am in mourming for Brad so please give my respect..leave me alone and dont call me or come over.thanks.
Replies
I am sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going thru. Just know I am saying a prayer for you... {{{HUG}}}
I understand what you are feeling, you have every right to be angry, and it is a normal part of the grieving process. Hugs and God Bless you! Judy
I agree with Judy. Anger always surfaces when a death occures......Keeping you in my prayers. Pat
I lost my nephew 1 month ago to suicide- no note either- it is so painful. He was only 19. He had no signs of dep. My twin sis found him so it has been terrible.
take care
I am so very sorry for your paun abd for the anger you are going through. Mu oldest son and step daughter both killed themselvws, and I have to fight thst snger and fight the grief as well. It s so awfully confusing. My prayares and thoughts are with you and I hope you can find the peace you are looking for. Do not give up. Keep clinging to the love and hope that is still in the world. Love Peggy