Here it is Monday again, and i swear the in-laws never cease to amaze me. This family knows everything about everyone in it, so they all know how crazy i've been feeling and overwhelmed ect.... Well they were all at the river Sat. drinking and i guess decided to go to the bar, so they called us to b-sit for the nite, now the amazing thing is they thought hubby was still out of town(he took weekend off) and called to ask me if i would watch their 6 kids, Stephen was staying at a friends(injury free-yea) so that would leave me with-Anna/4,Corey/5,Bobby/6,Jason/7,Kandace/8, David/9 and Brandon/13, maybe i'm just still on my pity party but i'm thinking who in there right mind would ask a crazy, greiving mom to take on 6 extra kids for a whole nite? Luckily hubby was home so i didn't have to say no, as that probably would have upset them(poor them). I have been trying real hard to be positive about things but it seems the harder i try the more depressed i get. I am actually looking foreward to the counsling Wed.(if it's not cancelled). Is it to soon to be trying to force the positive? I want to again thank everyone on here for helping me each day, and although my words may not be as good as some, and may sometimes even sound wrong but it is with luv for each one of you that i try, so if something upsets or offends you, please let me know cause that is never my intention. luv and hugs and wishing all a good day/nite.
Replies
Oh honey!!if it isn\'t the in-laws it\'s my own family that I have to deal with.so i all to well know the feeling. I have just pulled myself away from most of them, because I just can\'t deal with there poor pitiful me life.and the positive I to try so hard but I feel like I\'m becoming this fake person that kills me the most about other\'s. I don\'t want to be this way! I\'m not this kind of person.well hell I don\'t know anymore if I\'m coming or going..I have couseling today at 10:00am and I hoping I can bring this up and maybe she can help. that\'s what this site is for(or at least that\'s what I thought)is to vent share our sorrows,ups,down,our crazy moments and all the above. Love Tammy
I think the desire to feel positive is so strong that we actually long for it...try for whatever feeling you want...including positive...there (BTW...you CAN tell people NO!) Love to you...Karen
WOW!!! your right . they shouldnt have ask you to babysit, and 6 kids at that some people dont think ,but I\'m glad hubby was there.
I\'m with Tammy thats what this site is about and all the Mothers who loss our children we need to vent\\cry etc...
love ya! Caroline
A good friend told me: This is my journal and if something I say offends, then you don\'t have to read it. I love this friend, she is so smart. You don\'t need to apologize, ever... I had to force the positives at first, boy did I! But then, an amazing thing started happening, they started popping into my head on there own. It must be a learned behavior.
The nerve of some never ceases to amaze me! Six kids! Holy hell! I used to be a push over and would have said yes to anything, no matter how much it put me out of upset me. Now? No more! I am so much stronger and I can say NO very easily! Do I care if I piss people off? Not so much. So, I\'m writing a book again in my comments! Lord! It\'s a curse! Love you honey, and I\'m hugging you tight, Barbara
I find that if you just let the positive happen it is better. You will recognise them when there are there. Sometimes we must look very hard and other times they come easy. I can tell you though 6 extra kids....not going to be that positive, unless you are Mary Poppins. Love ya, take it easy on U. BIG HUGS
I don\'t think they should have ask you to baby sit either. Why is it some people think that oh it has been 6 months aren\'t you over it yet? It will be 7 months since I lost my son and if someone ask me to take care of 6 kids for them to go out to the bar I would give them a great big NO. And I try to be positive too, it is hard but to do but at times it seems to help. Hugs and love, Kathy