Thank you all for your support. I am still so lost feeling right now, I keep telling myself no big decisions for at least a year, I have moved back into our bed(thank goodness for new BIG bed) as David was enjoying me too much, waking up to him in bed with me and bedroom door locked, locking bedroom door everytime in there together. My things are still in spare room but i sleep way over on my side of bed. Hubby, of course, says he wants help......I don't know if i can believe him so i told him he had to chose, I could not live like this, if he is serious about wanting help the $ will be well spent(that's 1 excuse), if not i don't want to waste it, of course he wants it, I said you know what your triggers are(friends/family) are you willing to stay away from them if needed, of course he doesn't know, 1 of his favorite answers. I have been busting him on every excuse, every careful wording ..... i asked if he was sure he wanted to do this, he said i'm sure i want to try, i said careful you don't commit to anything, he doesn't like me doing this but it is making him think.   in-laws are here so need to go host/referee.  luv and hugs to all and wishing all a good day.