Didn't get a chance to write yesterday as in-laws were here when i woke up, today too, but i had some errands to run and they left and are not back yet(yea).  I have never been much of a ppl person and now it's worse.  David's best friends dad works with hubby and they are planning for David to stay there tomorrow night...  we'll see.  Stephen is doing good, says he gets homesick but then they do something fun and he's ok(darn), I shouldn't say that this is a very good oppertunity for him but it would not break my heart if he called and said come get me.  Was looking for something in hubbys closet and found THE newspaper that has THE article about her accident, I had not seen it, was ok with the words but they had a pic of the car, and i had only seen the car once from a distance so that tore me up, you can see blood pooled in her seat. My hubbys bro was the first in family to go see the car(never have understood that need ppl have) and on the night after her funeral(he had been drinking) he felt the need to correct me when i said it broke her neck instantly, he said(will never forget)"no the tree shoved her spine out her ass as the seat was covered with blood in that area, only othe blood was a hand print on inside roof where her friend reached over, touched her then the roof" so yes i unwillingly had this knowledge in my brain but to see it in the pic was awful, The only pic in my brain was of her at funeral home right after, covered to shoulders and looking unmarked and perfect, now i have this other image of the car to go with it, I wish i would have LOOKED at her then, when they are born do we not look over their whole body checking fingers, toes ect... it may seem morbid but now it bothers me that i have this image when she came into the world but not a full image of when she left, i think i had somewhat blocked out discription from bro-in-law(thank you prozac) thinking of her whole body being as perfect as what i saw, but pic in paper brought it back home. Just rambling i guess, don't really even know what i am trying to say other than it sucks.  Need to go get another day done, wishing all a good day with lots of luv and hugs