Didn't get a chance to write yesterday as in-laws were here when i woke up, today too, but i had some errands to run and they left and are not back yet(yea). I have never been much of a ppl person and now it's worse. David's best friends dad works with hubby and they are planning for David to stay there tomorrow night... we'll see. Stephen is doing good, says he gets homesick but then they do something fun and he's ok(darn), I shouldn't say that this is a very good oppertunity for him but it would not break my heart if he called and said come get me. Was looking for something in hubbys closet and found THE newspaper that has THE article about her accident, I had not seen it, was ok with the words but they had a pic of the car, and i had only seen the car once from a distance so that tore me up, you can see blood pooled in her seat. My hubbys bro was the first in family to go see the car(never have understood that need ppl have) and on the night after her funeral(he had been drinking) he felt the need to correct me when i said it broke her neck instantly, he said(will never forget)"no the tree shoved her spine out her ass as the seat was covered with blood in that area, only othe blood was a hand print on inside roof where her friend reached over, touched her then the roof" so yes i unwillingly had this knowledge in my brain but to see it in the pic was awful, The only pic in my brain was of her at funeral home right after, covered to shoulders and looking unmarked and perfect, now i have this other image of the car to go with it, I wish i would have LOOKED at her then, when they are born do we not look over their whole body checking fingers, toes ect... it may seem morbid but now it bothers me that i have this image when she came into the world but not a full image of when she left, i think i had somewhat blocked out discription from bro-in-law(thank you prozac) thinking of her whole body being as perfect as what i saw, but pic in paper brought it back home. Just rambling i guess, don't really even know what i am trying to say other than it sucks. Need to go get another day done, wishing all a good day with lots of luv and hugs
Replies
Your brother-in-law is a jerk for saying that to you (sorry he may be great sober). I cannot believe how insensitive his words were...I pray that somehow you can erase them from your mind. I could not look at Alex\'s motorcycle...Jared did see Alex injured...so he has that memory...but his appearance wasn\'t too bad...his injuries were internal. I am glad that Stephen is doing well, even though it is hard on you...he will be home with you soon. Love to you...Karen
I agree with Karen, bro-in-law should have kept that info to himself. Some people don\'t know when to keep their mouths closed. Bite the tongue if you have too. I am so sorry you have that image now. I had to take in a different set of clothing as the funeral home called and said the ones we have chosen weren\'t appropiate. I took offense to this, but then I was told that an autopsy had been done and the clothes wouldn\'t cover that up. We weren\'t told that they did an autopsy. Things should be told to us when we are still numb. At least it can\'t hurt us anymore that we feel it. Hope you find some peace. Love and Hugs.
I am sorry. Some people should learn how to be quiet.
He is one of them. Please try to have a better tomorrow. Sending you love. lucille
Wow, I can\'t believe how insensitive your family member was. I have never looked at my sons jeep after his accident but was told many kids were at the tow shop trying to see it. I too thought how odd. My brother quickly put the kabosh on that and told them to dispose of it as quickly as possible. I chose not to see my son too. My last picture was the night before he died standing by the door as he was leaving for the night. I am so grateful for that. I\'m not sure how I could have seen him any other way but as you know we are all different and for some they are glad they got to see their child no matter what condition. When you get those images do your best to replace them with more positive ones. Love to you. Robin