Busy weekend, Fri. sis-in-law was here ALL day with the kids (their 2 and 2 of his 3) then my other sis-in-law showed up with her 4 kids and it was a long day. Sat. was hubby's brother's b-day party at the river, and apparently they all decided to have a fish fry here on Sun.  8 adults and 11 kids from 4 to 15 yrs old, what a long busy weekend. Sat. I woke up crying and the day got worse, all i wanted to do was spend the day in bed but had the b-day party to do. Sis and family are going back to Illinois thur. or fri., all his family is stilll there and they are missing them, don't know if they are coming back depends how jobs and house's go there. Stephen leaves for the collage program on Sat. for 5 weeks, then it will just be the 3 of us here and just me and David during the day. Everyone thinks the time alone with me will be good for David but I'm not sure, He is kinda stuck and wants to cling to me, he is very angry too, I am afraid all the time alone will do him good but may be worse when Stephen comes home, just have to take it a day at a time and see what happens. Wondering how many kids will be here today, I used to love to hang with the little ones and spoil them and they miss that but as we all know i am not the same person anymore and even though i know this is not right i feel like whas the point of caring so much when they just die and it hurts so bad. Am in a bad place past few days and can't seem to climb out, know i will eventually. wish we could go live on a deserted island for a while. Wishing all a good week and lots of luv and hugs