When...

I do it quite often.. I pick up the phone cause I need your help and then realize you are no longer there. Other times I have something to share that is really great (which does not happen to often) and I feel the urge to call you and then realize you are no longer there. Does this ever go away or maybe I do not want it to as it does keep me connected to you.. I miss you so much Mom and I am so lonely without you. I am trying so hard to be good to myself but it is really hard since you have been gone. My biggest fan, my biggest and only true support.. (besides Debbie my long time ago therapist, due to cut backs she had to leave and Mental Health let me go) Now I am out here alone and trying to get Mental Health Help what a joke that is... anyway this is all I feel like rambling about today.. I wish everyone well.. and Mom I will love you foreverxo