Why?

I'm tired of my arm hurting since physio discharge on april 15th but i had a birthday yesterday and turned 31 and today's news feels like the end of everything--my mom's kidneys are starting to fail and she doesn't seem to want help with living by staying in another hospital for a few days in the next town because i don't drive but i'd find a way there,it worries me because i'm the only adult child to see the worst,my bros are like 2 kids mentally and i end up stressing out and anorexia creeps back in and controls me.I want to make my Mom well so she'll come home somehow and watch me become a psw-i bought the nurse shoes yesterday!