well today has just been a lil different i guess. i got my ACT score back. i didn't do good. i got a 16, im a lil pissed bout it but there is nothing i can do. my mom called me to tell me they were here and to open them so i went into the kitchen and was like man i hope i got a good score, and my dad was like hope it was high and mom was like no i hope it was low so no schools in LA will take her, then dad was like a medium score would be good. y the hell can't they just accept that i want to go to LA for god's sake srry for trying to make something out of my life. i know me leaving is hard on them but can't they be a little supportive? Im their fucking kid, the only one of their 3 kids that actually want's to go to college and do something with their life. i know they want the best and all but they have to stop making it about them, this is about me and my life. nothign has ever been about me it's always been about the boys and trying to keep them out of trouble. ugh im just so pissed, i want to go to LA so bad but they are making me feel horrible about that choice. it's like im killing them or something idk but it's not a big fucking deal!!!!!!! omg i just want to yell or something!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! amanda came back for christmas, she leaves friday night. it's been nice having her here. yesterday i went up to her perents place and we did some college stuff. we have 3 colleges in LA that im looking at so that's good. i wasn't nervouse about college or going to LA till today when i got my ACT score because now it's real, now i can send everythign in and get an answer on if i will be going to school in LA or not. it really set in today and im scared half to death. i still think it is a good idea to go but the thought of LA and college is really scary. and the thought of having to drive down there is scary too. ive never really driven anywhere big, or any place that is more then 2 hours away and LA is 3 day's away. it's just alot.  i just feel like crying, earlie i felt like cutting but that mood passed pretty quick so im  glad about that. now i just want to lay in bed and cry till i fall asleep.