well so im talking to my friend amanda. she's the one that im really close to and that just moved out to LA to try acting and stuff. umm so it really bothers me but she's kind of got herself into drugs and that all just really scares the shit out of me. my heart is literally breaking and i want to cry and i want to tell her how much this hurts me. im just so mad and like heart broken. she would talk about how she wouldn't get into that stuff and her acting coach told her not to and she talkes so highly of her acting coach and i never thought amanda would. and i just thought she'd make better choices. im just so mad i want to shake her and wake her up. she's making so many bad choices that i can't stand it. her husband doesn't know and he can't know cuz she doesn't think they would survive it and im not for sure they would either but i also know her husband and he would do anything for amanda so idk if he woudl leave her. ugh idk what to do. i mean i can't do anything cuz if she wants to do drugs then that's up to her and all i can do is be here for her but that just doesn't feel good enough. she's not even the same amanda anymore. idk what to do.