well i kind of just feel like crap. my nose is stuffy and i have a headache. i just want to sleep but i should work on my rough draft for my article in multimedia but i don't really want to. i just want to go back to bed and sleep and sleep. today sucked cuz mason, heather, and their kid here were. i don't mind when heather and khloe are here but i have when mason is here. im getting use to them being here cuz they are here alot but i still don't like it. i spend most the time up in my room. that wasn't to bad today concidering i felt like crap but still i shouldn't have to lock myself up in my room all day.  right now things just seem hard and i just want to bail out and not deal with this shit anymore. im tired of just not feeling anything. being numb and dead inside. i want ot feel. there are some day's where i do feel and i feel alive and i love life but i don't have thoese day's enough to make all the bad one's seem ok. it should be the other way around, i should be able to feel and feel alive and have a few day's where i don't feel and am dead inside. i want someday to be that way. and it will, i just have to keep believing it will.