well so im getting a new counselor. the one i have now isn't working anymore. there's alot from my past that i need help dealing with and she's not helping me. stuff that i need to talk about that i haven't talked about yet and i just don't feel that i ever will with her. sometimes when i say something she'll give me this look idk how to explain it but it makes me feel so small and i just want to crawl in a hole and hide. and whenever she gives me that look i just stop talking. she like looks at me like what i said isn't true or sometimes it's a confused look and idk i don't like it. she hasn't really helped me to stop blaming myself she just will tell me it's not my fault and that doesn't help. i just feel at a stopping point with my counselor like i don't feel like i'll go any further with her..hope that makes sence. so im hopeing this new counselor will take me further. and this new counselor will be closer...i'll only have to drive like 10-15 mins now instead of 45 mins so that's a plus. my counselor doesn't know im changing...i was gonna tell her when i went to see her on last week but i couldn't. but my counselor ever brought up the idea of me going to this one so i don't think she'll be mad im leaving her. o well. i go see my new one on monday so im a lil nervouse and scared but excited too. last night i went to a party wit a friend. it was fun. i played beer pong twice! the first time we almost won! but we couldn't make it in the last cup!! and then the second time we lost pretty bad lol but that's ok it was fun. i drank a lil to much and i drank them a lil to fast. i threw up twice...it was not fun! my stomach hurt real bad. i made this random guy rub my stomach. that could of turned bad i think cuz at first when he was rubbing my stomach my shirt was down and his hand was on my shirt but then it ended up on my stomach and i was like laying there and he snapped my bra to see if i was awak and he rubbed my stomach a lil longer then kind of stayed in the room wit me for a lil bit then he must of left but i don't remeber. but one of my guy friends was there and he was telling me how he thinks that one guy likes me cuz after i feel asleep this guy was cocking off to my friend and beign mean. i think he must of thought my friend and i were together or something. but idk it could of went bad. there were alot of guys there and only 3 girls. i felt like shit all day today. i woke up and was still a lil drunk. my stomach hurt for most of the day and i felt like i could throw up again, but i went home and took a nap around 3 and i feel alot better. my stomach still hurts a lil but not alot. i usually try and make sure i eat alot before i drink but last night i had like a bag of pop corn in me and that was it so prolly the fact that i had no food in me wasn't good. o well i learned my lesson.
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hey hun, well i think that first of all you need to be safer when your out drinking and dont let strange guys you dont know rub you tummy....that could have lead to a whole big mess...it was a really dangerous thing to do....dont drink that much again ok...???? its really not safe, its scary to think of what could have happened!!!!
im glad that your seeing a new therapist and i hope things go better with this one...let me know how it goes ok??? thinking of you hun, and please be safe....lots of love...jann
Learn from my mistakes I took my meds vicodin for my pain was at a friends house took a nap woke up naked and had been raped. He even had the odasity to say we were dating now so its ok! I also trusted someone at age 13 they jumped on me and tried to rape me and I fought hard against them and someone heard my yelling and I got free and hid. I also had someone I knew for a yr we hung out all the time I trusted him so much he said I could have his bed since I drank to much to drive the few miles home and there were no cabs in the area. He waited tell I was passed out I woke up and he was on top of me when I broke out of the room my friends whom were sleeping on the couch and floors all asked why I was so upset. No one believed me. They said I must be too drunk. I never spoke to him again or my so called friends. I was only 18 too.
Never trust someone even if you knew them for yrs. I know not the best advice but it helped me many a times. I learned also whom to trust and whom not to, but that took me many yrs.
I am sorry about the dr, but maybe its for the best. I went to yrs of thearpy almost my whole life never talked to one until now. I had over 15 of them too! Sometimes it takes time for us to cope and heal and accept things we can not change and can open up to others about it. And also to find someone we can open up to or trust. Its harder when youve been abused to trust people because you had that trust taken advanatage of.
Stay strong and positive, and next time dont drink too much and be sure to eat before hand. I no longer can drink because I am to scared to have more then one drink.
Also drink lots of water if you are going to drink take aspirin or Excedrin migraine when you wake up or before bed and again when you wake up. And eat saltines when you wake up if you still feel drunk this does help.