today was very interesting. it was my daddy's birthday and that was exciting. but we don't do anything special for birthdays. we just normaly have dinner together and then have cake. i made my dad his cake today. i love baking. but i never do it lol kind of alot of work if you ask me. luke was gone almost all day. mason, heather, and khloe came over today. they brought us dinner. i never know the when mason will be coming over and that bugs me alot! i wish my mom would give me a lil heads up so i know....atleast tell me a day ahead. but she alway's tells me the day they are coming and it's usually like an hour before they get here. that alway's sets be  back and just puts me not in a good mood.  it was hard seeing mason today. especially after trying to deal with the rape and stuff. i wanted to leave the whole day but i felt bad because it was my dad's birthday and i didn't want to leave. i hate that have to hide in my house. that im forced to stay in my room all day or leave whenever he comes over. i find that unfair. so all day i wasn't in a good mood. really depressed and felt like i could throw up at any moment. and i had to eat so that didn't help my stomach at all!! i did end up making myself throw up. i couldn't handle it anymore. i like can't throw up i have to make myself. so that kind of sucked but it did make my stomach feel a lil better.