wow so i have never felt so alone as i do right now. ive alway's thought about suicide but alway's thought id never do it but some times now it's really hard not to do it. when i took 4 sleeping pills i knew it wouldn't do anything to me but i hoped that some how it could. and i wasn't scared to die, the thought didn't scare me, it actually made me feel calm and happy. but what scared me was not growing up, disapointing ppl, not experiencing life and helping ppl. that scares me. and for those reasons i guess i stay alive.