well on monday i had a meeting with my counselor and mom had to come. we just went over all her notes bc she was like reivaluating me i guess or something. but she started talking about my eating and stuff and how i was bulimic and mom didnt know and but how i'm mostly just anerexic and i guess mom didn't know that untill i started going to this lady and that's a lie cuz i've told her in a letter. and mom aslo said she didn't know i cut either till i can to this lady to n' that's also i lie bc i told her in that same letter what i was doing. but mom asked to see them n' i said no! they we talked about what made me cut last time n' i told her bc of our fight n' bc i over heard her talking to dad that she doesn't believe me. and she freaked! told me i had no right in listening in on her and dads convo that she doesn't listen to any of mine and i had no right that it was a violation. but she never said anything bout her not believe me just yelled at me. then i told her bout when i tried to tell her when i was younger but she just didn't understand. but i guess i'm not mad at that anymore bc she couldn't of known idk. but at the end of the session my counselor told me to show my mom my cuts. but i just looked at her n' shook my head n' said no. she said i had to and that from now on mom had the right to check me whenever she wanted to to see if i've been doing it and that next time i do it she had to call my counselor and tell her and then they are gonna put me in the hospital. mom hasn't checked me yet and i don't think she will cuz 1 it would look bad on her part, 2 i don't think she could put me in the hospital anyways and 3 she doesn't want to know if i've cut or not. so she's will be scared to ask so i don't think i have to worrie bout it. yesterday we had a party for amanda and it was sad but happy. we talked about all the old times in basketball we had n' everyone was laughing way hard! but i was sad cuz it was the last time we were going to be together (her and the seniors). i'm happy she's moving but it's just gonna suck.