Ugh I can’t stop crying…that’s all I want to do. My lower back is killing me. I think from cramps. I can’t get a hold of chasity (chas26) and I just ant to know if she’s ok or not. I’m tired of my one friend not caring about me. So I’ve stopped trying. If she wants to talk to me she can but I’m done trying to talk to her. It’s been really hard but I’m really tired of it. I have practice tomorrow at 6:15 and I can’t sleep. Its 1:21 and idk if I will get any sleep tonight. I’ve been crying all night and I still want to cry. Idk what’s wrong with me. i hate being like this. Ugh I hate life soooo much!!! I think I need to go and see my counselor; I haven’t been in a really REALLY long time. But I’m scared to go because she’ll ask me why I didn’t re schedule and I honestly don’t know why. I think it’s cuz I’m scared to talk; I’m scared to find out things. I’m scared that I’ll find out it was my fault after all. That I was right that some of it is my fault. I don’t know if I could deal with that. God idk what to do.
Replies
OH, HONEY YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. GO WITH YOUR SEE YOUR COUNSELOR AGAIN, DON\'T WORRY THAT YOU HAVEN\'T BEEN IN AWHILE. JUST TELL HER YOU WEREN\'T READY TO GO BACK YET. AND NOW YOU ARE. I KNOW IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT YOU DO NEED TO \'FIND THINGS OUT\' IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE GOING TO START TO FEEL BETTER AND HEAL. ITS SO HARD BUT SO WORTH IT, YOU ARE WORTH IT. FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO HARD IN HIGH SCHOOL, EVERYONE IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THEY ARE...I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER WITH YOUR FRIEND, I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIPS ARE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP.
i think your right, you need to talk to your terapist and let them know what is going on so that they can help you.....you may be surprised at how much they can help when they know the truth. also a trip to your doctor could be a good idea so they can deside if you need your meds bumped up or changed somehow....it really worth the effort to do this hun....sending you big [[[[hugs]]]] and lots of love....jann
oh girliee.
i think you deff should go talk to you couslure and everything.i\'m sorry about your friend.i\'m have them same exprience at the moment.
but i am here for you allways.
i\'m not on any meds my mom is scared to put me on there. she\'s scared i\'ll overdose.
hang in there honey
i\'m here if you want to talk
I wish you could get the right help that you need...has your Mom gone to therapy with you??
no she hasn\'t i\'m not sure i want her too
Oh Kayrl...it\'s not your fault...it is never, ever the child\'s fault... ever!...God I wish you and all the others molested could accept that on the level needed so you will never have that doubt again...not at fault, not partially at fault. No fault. It is NEVER the child\'s fault....I don\'t care whether the child was provocative and did a lap dance...it just doesn\'t matter. They are the child...the adult is there to protect the child not exploit them...there is no excuse for the adult...none. It\'s all about who has the \"power\" the child NEVER is in the position of power....you were not at fault. You must fight those nagging doubts...and I can tell you with a 1000% certainty that no therapist would ever even come close to saying that you had any responsibility in what happened to you regardless of anything you \"might\" have done. Regarding your therapist asking you why you haven\'t scheduled, one she probably \"won\'t\" but even if she did so what? This is about you taking care of yourself and the fact that you think you should call your therapist....means you should. Just pick up that phone and call...okay? Sorry if this was a little repetitive on the \"fault\" issue..LOL But I\'ll say it a 1000 more times until you can hear it if it would help. So much progress will begin to occur once you can accept this reality. The child is never at fault....why do so many doubt this????