I just don’t’ know. I just feel like getting drunk and not caring what happens to me. I don’t care about myself any more I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m worthless I know I am. I can’t do anything right. I suck at school. I’m not smart and so I have to work my ass off for my grades and I just can’t do it. It’s to much work and I don’t have the time or energy to do it. It’s hard to keep your grades up when you just don’t’ care about them or yourself. Why did this have to happen to me? Why do I feel so much guilt? Why can’t I just get over it and say it wasn’t my fault and believe it? Why?
Replies
BECAUSE, when they hurt us by blowing our trust, and trespassing against our bodies, leading us to wonder what we did to deserve this person who is supposed to be our older sibling and protector, to put their hands, mouths and private parts, on us, in us, and near us, WE ARE ASSURED WE ARE NO-BODIES! We must be worthless cum, or else they would love us as siblings like we THOUGHT they did. Then it changes our whole image of life, love, and the world. We are NEVER the same again. We are forever confused, and blaming ourselves mostly. BUT friends, \"real\" family, and lots of therapy teaches us, we are the GOOD, perfect, loving, kind, honest, dedicated people. And we NEED to NEVER STOP talking to the ones who can be trusted and support us!!! We need to always be in therapy if we can. Because that is where we really learn and believe that is SHOULDN\'T have happened to us! And that we feel guilty because now we not only wonder WHY THEY DID THIS, but then we now have to wonder WHY WE HATE THEM (aren\'t they our brothers?)! We feel like bad sisters to HATE them. BUT LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO US! KARYL, LOOK HOW YOU FEEL........IS IT FAIR? MASON DID THIS TO YOU. YOU WERE BORN MENTALLY PURE AND INNOCENT. A GORGEOUS, HAPPY, CURIOUS LITTLE BABY. HE DID THIS TO YOU, AND MY BROTHER DID THIS TO ME! SHOULD WE REALLY FEEL GUILT FOR HATING THEM? NOPE! WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO LIVE ON IF YOU CAUSED SOMEONE TO LIVE EVERY MINUTE FEELING THE WAY HE HAS MADE YOU FEEL? NOPE!!!!! IT ISN\'T YOU OR YOUR FAULT. IT IS HIS! AND MY BROTHERS! NOW WE HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE THE BEST LIVES WE CAN, WITH THIS MOUNTAINOUS DAMAGE ON OUR BACK!!! But you are beautiful. You are kind! You are loving, giving, sweet, helpful, and trustworthy. You are such a great woman, that you need to keep drilling that into your brain! The best thing you can possibly do for yourself right now is believe you are a beautiful special woman, bust your ass as best you can over those grades! School goes by so fast, and you will be glad you did! Get the best grades you can right now, so once you are old enough to leave that home, and go to whereever YOU want, with or WITHOUT anyone you choose, you can then go to college, or begin a GREAT career that will pay you WELL! And make your life everything you dream of. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS AGAIN!!!! NEVER ALLOW ANYTHING OR ANYONE INTO YOUR LIFE AGAIN! This short time in school, busting butt, will enable you to choose your path in your life and future! Aren\'t you tired of everyone else making your decisions, from your boss, to your mom, to your teacher, to your coach? You can do it, and you ARE SMART! And if u need a little extra help, ask for it. It\'s a SHORT time in your life that sets you up for YOUR FUTURE! Dont give up girl. You will be the winner in the end! You will feel the rewards later for this effort. TRUST ME! Im old compared to you and we had the SAME LIFE! DONT GIVE UP. You have been fighting and succeeding since I met you a LONG time ago. DONT LET THEM WIN! WE MUST TURN OUT BETTER AND MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN THOSE SLIMEY PEOPLE TO WIN. Then they will see they LOST! And they have NO POWER over us anymore. YOU GO GIRL! I LOVE YOU! Love Nichole
I meant worthless \"scum\" up above, where I left off the \"S\". Im so sorry about that! I hate that word. PLZ forgive me.
babeeee.
oh fuck, i know just whatt yuur feeling.it sucks so much.yu really are a great and wounderful girl but sometimes its so hard to cee.i know that feeling of not caring anymore...\'whats the point?\' is what yuu always ask yuur self...but realy its worth it..cause yuu desevr to be hapy and yuu NEVER EVER did anything wrong...yuu never did anything that made yuu desever this...yu desever happiness...yuu need to prove that yuu can prove to everyone that thought stupid things about yuu that they are wrong..and yuu can prove to yurself that yuur wrong aboutt yuurself has well.yuu are a smartsmart,beautiful,talented girl...yur gunna make its babes!
No one can ever take away that beautiful part of you that is the essence of your heart - your pure love. If you spend time there you will strengthen. And as far as school, I would suggest giving up a sport activity in order to do well. It sounds like your taking on too much, and you may be too tired to devote qualilty time to studies. Your studies should come first. Your NOT stupid!!! Your human and we all have our own pace.