i am still here and still i feel like shit and idk what to do. i feel all alone and i know i'm not i know i have you guy's but i wish i had people here, where i live. mason say's thing's to me that i don't like. i just don't really even want him looking, talking, breathing or being around me for any matter. but my mom and i were out on the go kart and came back and mason and his girl friend thing were there and my mom told him about how we got stuck and i had to push from behind and he said " good, taht's good for you it will build your leg muscles up" and i know that in a normal brother sister relationship that would be fine to say but not in ours. i don't want him looking at my leg's or saying anything about them. he also called me fat and stuff and again i don't want him looking at my body, it's almost like being abused again without it actuallying happening. i just get the emotonal part of it and i don't like it. what i hate the most is that my mom takes it and she sometime's start's it. like wehn my mom and i were talking about my dance studio and mason came in and heard us and so we told him and he was just like oh how much is this going to cost and i was just like oh nothing cuz i don't have to pay for it and he was just like what how is that/ and my mom was just like oh we got it all free and everything and again he asked how and she was just like well look at her. AGAIN I DON'T WANT HIM LOOKING AT ME!!!!!! god she doesn't get that. she think's everything between us is fine and i hate her for thinking that. she wont let me go to the college i want to go to and it's making me soo mad! she tell's me i can't do this to her that i can't take away the weekend's and holliday's that i would come home on and that i just can't do taht to her! and i just want ot be like WHAT! i can't do this to you? is this about u? NO!!! this is about me it's about my feature, about what i want! does she care about what i want no!!!!! is mason or luke were to want to go to college and let me add that they don't and arn't going!! and mason migh but the army will pay for that! so anyway's is they wanted to go she would let them. she's all like they would get out and go to college that it would be good for them. that they should get out of here! why can't i?!?!? why wont she let me????? i know she's scared of loosing me and everything that this is a mother thing but she's flat out told me i'm not going! who does that to their kid who want's to make something out of themselfves????? especially what has happend. i could have toked another way of life. i could be a druggie, i could be getting into trouble right now but no i'm not. i do my homework, i am active in sport's, i'm responsible. i dont' understand her!!!!! seh make's my life sooooo hard and idk why? why would she want to do that? it's hard enough just being a teenager!
Replies
I really feel for you. I wish there was something I could do to make things better. There\'s still time for you to be able to go to the college of you choice. See if you can somehow apply anyway just to see if you can get accepted. Maybe your mom will change her mind.
I\'m sorry about the problems you\'re still having with your brother. My brother died in 2000 so I no longer have that problem but I know exactly what you mean. Things do get better though I promise.
I can be so hard to look on the bright side when things seem wrong. It\'s great that your able to go to college, any college toward betteromg your life. If you must go near by, you can claim your weekends through the need to study -- and there\'s a lot of truth in that -- or other positive activities to limit home visiting.
all i can say is that your my friend and i care about you and i will do my best to be there for you when you need me....i love you, please remember that kayla rose...
Your mother has NO SAY in where u go to college or which one u choose!!! She can\'t tell you no. So here is YOUR oppurtunity to make YOUR OWN DECISIONS about what your future is going to be. She\'s a selfish bitch! She is trying to make everything \"SEEM\" perfect with you and Mason for her own damned comfort! She is thinking of herself, NOT YOU! I hate to encourage disrespecting your mother, but she\'s doing it to you. So it\'s time you STOPPED taking any heed in her opinions or desires, and do what KARYL wants!!! She\'ll live! She\'ll get over you making the choices YOU WANT, a LOT easier than you will get over making the choices she wants!!! Obviously, she STILL isn\'t protecting you, or makiong you number ONE, so YOU HAVE TO! Send that college app in, and be looking for it in the mail. And make many calls to that college inquiring about their decision after time has gone by, just in case she intercepts it!! Then you will still know what they decided, and be able to make your decision around it!! Just tell the school that sometimes your post office loses mail, so you\'re calling just to be sure you dont miss the letter. Love u Girl! Make yourself NUMBER ONE! Love Nichole
ohhh hun.
i feel so bad for yuu yuu have no idea...i wish i was there wit yuu rite now...maybee explaining too yuur mom that yuu are still not happy wit mason [and yuu shouldnt bee!] and tell her that yuu need to advoid being pressured around him at all costs...and hun, maybee yuu should go to tak too someone like a threapest or sumthing...it may help...
and yuu have every right in the world to go to college...its about 2 years away so dont listien to her right now...do what yuu want casue yuu desever it...i\'m here iff yuu ever need anythingg.