soooo i can't sleep at all!! im actually freaking out....im kind of shaking and idk what to doo. idk where mason is....ok now i know where he is.. him and some girl just came down stairs....uh idk how to feel about that. i think it's like his girlfriend or something...idk. this make's me sick....i want to puke. why can i handle some night's and then other's i'm a wreck? ahhhh?!?!
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Because somedays you have your healthier person on board within you. The one that has worked so hard at overcoming this and you fell a little safer. Then other days or nights, you have that \"inner child\" on board (mentally + physically) that was hurt, abused, neglected, and un-safe. You can\'t really control which one you feel. All you can do is keep working on making then ONE. The more you work toward recovery and healing, the stronger you will get, and the LESS you will feel the weaker, scared one. It\'s really normal, and it doesn\'t mean you are crazy. I went through all of that when I lived at MOMS with BOTH my abusers living there. That\'s WHY I upped and took off for the Air Force as soon as I graduated. I am praying for you, and u r in my heart and mind. Love you Nichole
PS. It is also NORMAL to want to PUKE seeing him with a GIRL, because of the abuse you find him REPULSIVE and wonder how any woman could touch him or allow him to touch her!!!!