guy's i don't think i can do this any more. and i'm not just saying that. i'm at a absolute low right now that i just don't even care. the funeral was today and that was really hard. There's this boy that my friend set me up with and we've just been talking and stuff not official yet and he told me today that he didn't like me in taht way, which i understand i wasn't really feelign it either but it just sucked that he said it today. he didn't know about the funeral. and mason, idk how much more of this i can take. my heart stop's everytime he talk's to me (which isn't alot acutally) i don't want him lookign at me at all. i feel sooo alone and no one is doing anything. no one care's no one try's to talk with me. i can't do this but i have to be strong right now atleast for my friend and i need to be there for her. i know i need to take care of myself i know that so no one tell me that it's good that i'm thinking of my friend but i'm what matter's most and that i should be thinking of myself and taking care of myself first, because once you take care of yourself you can better take care of others. god i know all this and i don't f-ing care ok. i need to take care of her and i will and then i will take care of me, that's how it's been and that's how it will alway's be so dont' try and change it.
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I\'m sorry that you feel so bad. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I know what it\'s like to be so low that you don\'t think things could go any lower and then they do. Taking care of your friend right now is the right thing to do. It\'s best to focus on something else. Just don\'t give up on yourself. Remember, you were put here for a reason and some day you might know what that reason is. Just hang in there, okay?
There\'s nothing wrong with putting someone else first at times, and this is obviously the time that you need to do that. Healing will come to both of you through your great compassion.
I hope u feel better.