well i was suppose to be going to a basketball camp on tomorrow but i've decided that it would prolly be better if i stayed here cuz the wake is tomorrow and then the fueniral is on monday and then my friend's birthday (sister to the girl who died) is on tuesday and i should be here for her birthday and for the wake and stuff. so idc being here is more important to me than going to some basketball camp, i didn't have to think twice about this decision lol.umm but ya so i don't really know what else to talk about. lastnight i got really suicidal, i was really close to telling my mom to take me to the hostpital but i didn't i couldn't bring myself to do it. and that kind of scares me. i'm rather kill myself than go and tell my mom and i want to kill myself. our relationship is really bad i've decided. and my dad idk i guess i just dont want him to worrie about me. i hate that they are worried and call me all the time and i just want to be like if your soo worried about me then put me in a hostpital or something cuz calling me all the time and being a freak is driving me close and close to doing it! GRRRRR
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well hun i am very gald yu didnt and its good thing that yu even thought aboutt going to yuur mom.
i thinkk that its good that yuur staying to cee this girl and that yuu really know thats what yuu want to do.
i\'m here iff yuu need anyyyything.
Your a good friend with a big heaart. I\'m sure that your thoughtfulness to be with your friend means more to her than you know. // Remember, it\'s always the darkest before the dawn. There will be a time when happiness is more of the norm in your life, and so much so that all of the pain that is now will be far into the past as if another lifetime to another person. You will get past these hard times. Believe in yourself. By your very creation, your worth that!
You are an amazing person. You are thinking about everyone else more then yourself. Me and my parents did not have the best relationship either. It can be better. I am sorry about your loss. Please take care of yourself though. People Love you and want you to be happy.
Hi Kayla. Im glad you didn\'t hurt yourself that way either. You are a beautiful person, and you will get to the other side, where happiness prevails. You are going through it now. All this pain and struggle, and indecision is part of your process and journey. You are doing well, because you are still alive! You write in the journal, you share your feeligs. I think you should SAY THAT TO YOUR PARENTS.......
\"\"\"if your soo worried about me then put me in a hostpital or something cuz calling me all the time and being a freak is driving me close and close to doing it!\"\"\"
WHY NOT SAY THAT TO THEM? It cant hurt at this point!!!!
Oh I wanted to tell you too, I called and talke to CHAS the other day!!! She is having a hard time still, and very depressed. Stuck at her parents still!!! I begged her to come to my home, but she cant leave grandma, and grandma can\'t travel with her health! But I have her number if you would like to call her. Maybe you guys could have a nice chat!!! I love u Kayla. Be strong!!!