well today was good i guess, idk. i went with a friend to take this little girl to a camp thing and then we went and got some donuts and gass and a smoothie and a pop and so i ate almost all my smothie and a donut and then we went back to her house and sleept cuz we had to get up at like 7:30 so we were tired and then i went to open gym and then to work and all i ate at work were like a hand full of carretts and that was it. and i'm not really that hungry actaully. work went' slow we weren't that buys. my mom pissed me off AGAIN. man i just want to leave here i hate it so much i hate my mom so much. she called be at like 9:45 and was like were are you and she knew i was at work and then she call me again at 10:35 freaking out so i called her back after i was off work which was like a few minutes later and like freaked out at her. man she makes me mad. i told her i had just got of work and she was like i thought you'd be home by like 8 and i was just like duh mom the kitchen closes at 10 so i will never be home before that and was just soooo pissed! and she was just like oh ok. AHHHH SHE MAKE'S ME SOOOO MAD. she's going to be callign me ever single second checking in on me cuz i told her i was suicidal. duh bad choice to tell her!
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My Mum used to be the same with me when one day my sister had to call an ambulance from work because I had cut my wrist and blood was just pissing out of my arm, it didnt hurt though I was so frightened because that never happened before. After that My Mum would knock on my bedroom door through out the day...argh it absolutley PISSED ME RIGHT OFF. I felt it didnt help having her do that, it almost drove me further away from her but in some way I think I also felt Finally she can see Im not well, that something is wrong, I hoped that mayby she will be able to help me, she will know whats wrong with me and get me the help I need, but \'No\' I did not get the help \'I\' wanted, which was going away where people could help, somewhere away from the house and the family. Somewhere I could just be me, feel sad, feel mad and have people who understand what Im going through. Its so hard to talk to my Mother, I know what we need to do is just talk honestly, to say what we realy feel, but I just dont trust her with what is inside me, And I dont want to see the pain in her face to hear my story, to hear what i ahve to say, Though in some ways, in the wounded parts of myself ,I do want to witness the sadness to just be reassured she loves me, that she understands what Ive been through. I hope your day is getting better.
Thats a pain in the ass. You need to tell her she can call you once, not over and over!!!!! That\'s just insane. It\'s like she got the green light to call u so now shes taking advantage!!! I feel for you there. I hope it gets better for you. Love u, Nichole