hey guy's.umm work went good. i also forgot to mention down there that that guy was gonna call my counselor and talk with her about everything, so i'm guessing he's going to talk to her about the like cutting a lil more and prolly mention the suidie stuff. so i guess i wont have to bring it up hopefully she will. i hate that i have to answer my mom's call! ahh that just pisses me off it alway's put's me in a bad mode wehn i have to talk to her. and now she's going to be asking me how i'm doing twice a day i dont' think i'll be able to handle that. i can handle my dad asking me. but idk about my mom. i just hate her, i can't stand talking with her sometime's i cant even stand being around her alot too. i wish i didn't feel that way but i can't help it she was never there for me and i'm pretty sure was the only one that questioned what happended to me. i've had to beg her to get me a counselor i was the one getting myself into treatment and all this stuff and she wasn't. it's suppose to be the other way around, she's suppose to be the one telling me i need to be in therapy and begging me and all that to go and relizing it. i'm the one that's suppose to be sutborn and not want to go and all that, i'm the teenager,i'm the kid, not the adult, she's suppose to be. but now i am the adult i'm not a kid, i'm not a teenager. nerver was.
Replies
Yes you should not have to be doing what really your Mother should be doing. But I guess she is doing what Her Mother did to Her, We are only taught what we know and we pass it on if we have not had any help. You have every right to feel the way you do, it really is understandable. Your Mum and Yourself have alot to talk about, Hopefully one day you both will be able to. I know I still find it hard to talk to her.
Hang in there. Those feelings will pass. I wish I would have had counseling when I was your age. Be happy that it is available and make the most of it. Don\'t be afraid to bring up topics to your counselor. That is a very safe place and you can say anything and not be afraid that it will go any further unless you want it to.
I know your mother should have protected you and she didn\'t but you need to get past your anger. You don\'t have to forget but you need to forgive. It took me a long time to forgive my mother and we are now best friends. She was in denial when it was happening and she still is to a certain extent but now I understand that she just didn\'t know what to do.
As for her pushing you into counseling, you seem to be doing fine there yourself. Just don\'t give up and don\'t let anyone talk you out of it.
I am very proud of you. You need me, I am here.
I too think that it would help a great deal if you got past your anger concerning your mother, etc. \"Forgive them for they know not what they do.\" Many times, people just don\'t think very deeply and their behavior affects others in ways that they had not even considered. They had no idea. You still have every right to feel as you do, but putting it all into perspective will help. Your intelligence may be far more than your mother\'s for which she just can\'t help. Your intelligence lends to all of your great qualities, and it will also serve you in becoming well --that along with your strength -- regardless of your mother\'s seemingly inadequacies. Hang in there. Your doing great.
Hello. You are doing so well. I am so extremely proud of you in your prior journal. That\'s awesome!!!! I know how hard it is to talk about. You keep up the hard work, so your adult life will be better than your childhood. You are the adult. Your mother is and was in denial. U r right! She should have been there for you 200%! It\'s unfair that she didn\'t help u and u had to beg. YOU still aren\'t in any inpatient program. Did you ask the guy about that? Did u tell him how much u want to go inpatient? You have to keep standing up for yourself. That\'s how u will get what u need and want! I am so proud of you!!!!!!!
I have one question,,,,you NEVER write back to me anymore. You used to all the time. R U MAD AT ME FOR SOMETHING?