i don't want to go to work, i feel horrible! my stomach hurt's my head hurt's my sunburn hurt's, i just feel like crying and getting some rest. i work tomorrow also and i have a basketball camp on sunday. AHH. i hate my mom so much. she asks like she cares and i think she does but idk, all she does is ask how i am and that's it, doesn't try and help. idk what i need to her to, maybe i need her to leave me alone, to leave or i leave but i'm tired of her i can't stand her anymore. i don't answer any of her calls and then she get's pissed but i don't care. she yelled at me this morning for not leaving her any gass in my car but i'm sorry i was f-ing driving my friend everywhere and i had already but 30 dollars in and she was just like i filled it up and your paying for half of it. god i never asked her too and she could have just put like 5 or 10 dollar's in it. i put enough of my money it it already. she wont give me any money i have no chas all just check's and i hate checks! especially if i have to write it for like under 10 dollar's that just make's me mad idk why i just like having some actual money on me and not alway's checks and she doesn't understand that. god i pissed! i hate life so much right now i just want to leave. i want to run away,i think about it more and more everyday.
Replies
Ya know, I can\'t really blame you. I think your mo has been callous, and cold toward your feelings which you have been very clear about. She has NOT honored any of them. You begged for inpatient, which would have been the BEST thing in your life, but she wont do it. You dont want Mason there, but she wont tell him no. She just wont honor any of your wishes. It is NO REASON to hurt yourself. But I do believe you would be happier somewhere else. I dont think you will ever be happy living with her. She asks u how u r feeling for selfish reasons. She wants you to say u r ok, so SHE can feel OK!!! She knows you aren\'t happy, and havent gotten your way in any of the recovery requests you have made. I think she should be helping you to go and be anywhere you want that could be helpful to you!!! I think U realize everything I have written, and you are hurt, and TIRED of going on and on with none of your issues being dealt with. I love you, and hope you can figure something out. Talk to dad and explain all of how u r feeling!!! He listens and tries. Love Nichole
I believe that your mother does care, and that\'s why you have the counselor that you do. I think that she\'s doing the best that she knows how for you and wants to see if the help that your getting now will be affective for you before taking further action. I also believe that you are very strong, and when you believe that of yourself, you may realize that you can get through this if you work at it wiht the counselor that you have. We all think our parents aren\'t in-touch with us at your age, and that we\'d have less hassel elsewhere. Running to an unknown situation most often times turns out to be far worse than being with family who knows you and deep down loves you!