i'm really upselt that i didn't get in. i was looking forward from getting away from here and getting help. i'm just sitting here crying. idk what to do now. i think counseling will be fine. i'll see her one a week for this month and then she'll try to do the same for next month but she said she'll have to see. idk, i was crying on the way home from work because worked sucked and all i wanted to do was drive my car into the ditch or hit another car or a car hit me but i'm too scared that i'll hurt people so i don't do it so i was crying on the way home cuz i wanted to and i was scared and i just want to go to inpatient and i just want to leave this house. i just want to get better! there has to be another place i can do too. i ceriously considered going to the hostpital and being like i need help i need help now! ahhhhh