srry i just thought of some more stuff i wanted to write about.ok so i think my mom is trying because she asked me to come up stairs to talk privatly ( my best friend was there that's why) and she was crying and idk she was just like i'm trying to figure things out and everything else idk i felt that she really was trying. but she was just like could you guy's just go outside so i don't have to keep hiding aound the house and she was just like the neighbors keep waving if i'm outside and i just need you guy's to go outside. for one think idk why she felt that she needed to keep hiding while she talked to them my friend know's everything but maybe my mom didn't know that but idk that made me mad like idk that she had to hide while to talked to the counselors, seeing a couselor isn't a bad thing i think almost everyone should there just someone to talk to and to help it doesn't me you messed up if you see a counselor and i think that's what she has stuck in her head, that's what  my whole town does. and then my old counselor wanted me to go and see this doctor and idk just like idk why and i was suppose to go and see him tomorrow and i asked my mom if we were going and she said no that she didn't want me on any pills and that i am fine phsyically. that made me mad too, how is she suppose to know if i'm fine or not. grrrr idk why we just couldn't go and see him it's not like it cost us anything. i think it's cuz ya she doesn't want me on meds but she also and a golf tournament tomorrow and she didn't want to miss it.  grr, idk if that's the reason but i can see it being the reason.