:( i don't know what's wrong with me right now. these last couple of day's i have been down but there's really been nothing to be down about. i have a couple of things here and there but nothing i couldn't handle before but now idk. i'm just sad and tired all the time.:(

i just got back from walking my dog. we went down to the cemetary (dont' think i'm spelt that right) but we went down there to see a friend who past away in 06 i believe. i never really delt with it and i never went down to see her but i felt that i needed and wanted too. i didn't know where she was barriered so i had to look for her adn i had my dog with me and i have this thing where i can't walk on the gravs or anything because it's just weired and i feel it's wrong to do that because there's someone barriered there and i shoudl respect that, idk that might be weired idk. so i had my dog and i wouldn't even let her walk on the grass even is no one was there. but i found my friend and sat down and started crying. she has taught me a valuable lession. she was alway's happy and alway's had this huge simle and wave. i guess that i've learned that a smile goes along way. i've also learned to alway's be nice to everyone and not judge them because you never know how long they'll be here and you don't want to regret anything. i regrett not being a better friend to her. i guess that's the hardest thing. we were pretty close during drill team and a lil during basketball but she didn't go out for either of them this year so we just kind of stoped talking. she was very nice and fun to be around. oh man i miss her. it's weird to have someone gone that you know. it's like something is missing ya know. i felt that way also when my cat died. i had him my whole life. he was born before me and i guess i knew someday he would die. it's hard not having him around too just cuz he's alway's been there. oh man. i miss her, i miss my kitty. :( i am sad.