ok so i needed to write this out. its 12:45am and i was really close to commiting suicide. idk really know why. i guess i feel that if i do i will get the help i need.
so i'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep and i decide i want to cut ok whatever i do that alot well this time before i got my razor i started thinking about slitting my wrist and then my mom finding me and calling 911 and being in the hostpital and then they will hopefully be like she needs to stay and get help imediatly and so i so so so badly wanted to do that and it took everything i had to just lay on the bed and not get the razor. so i didn't and i didnt cut myself but i am still thinking about it and still want to do it really really bad. right now that seems to be the only way i think i will get the right help i need.
i don't want to die i really don't but comitting suicide seems to be my last resort right now. and i know i have a counselor and so i don't really know why i want to do it but i do i really do. i feel i need more help then seeing a counselor every 2-3 weeks. i mean there has to be something wrong wiht me if i'm thinking about suicide every single day and i'm not just saying that or over exagerating, i really do.
i'm thinking about telling my school counselor (actually she was an intern but i really trust her and think she will actually help me) and tell her that i think i need help and that i am thinking about suicide alot. idk what do you guys' think? i'm really confused right now. but i don't want to do it now i want to do it after school because i don't want to have to miss school and i don't want peopel to think i need help as bad as i do i don't think they will understand because i put on an act for them. everyone thinks i'm fine and that nothing is wrong and only like a few people know how i really feel and what is really goign on with me. IDK!!! i'm so confused and don't know what i soudl do. plz help me!
so i'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep and i decide i want to cut ok whatever i do that alot well this time before i got my razor i started thinking about slitting my wrist and then my mom finding me and calling 911 and being in the hostpital and then they will hopefully be like she needs to stay and get help imediatly and so i so so so badly wanted to do that and it took everything i had to just lay on the bed and not get the razor. so i didn't and i didnt cut myself but i am still thinking about it and still want to do it really really bad. right now that seems to be the only way i think i will get the right help i need.
i don't want to die i really don't but comitting suicide seems to be my last resort right now. and i know i have a counselor and so i don't really know why i want to do it but i do i really do. i feel i need more help then seeing a counselor every 2-3 weeks. i mean there has to be something wrong wiht me if i'm thinking about suicide every single day and i'm not just saying that or over exagerating, i really do.
i'm thinking about telling my school counselor (actually she was an intern but i really trust her and think she will actually help me) and tell her that i think i need help and that i am thinking about suicide alot. idk what do you guys' think? i'm really confused right now. but i don't want to do it now i want to do it after school because i don't want to have to miss school and i don't want peopel to think i need help as bad as i do i don't think they will understand because i put on an act for them. everyone thinks i'm fine and that nothing is wrong and only like a few people know how i really feel and what is really goign on with me. IDK!!! i'm so confused and don't know what i soudl do. plz help me!
Replies
please write to me and let me know whats going on.
i dont want you to have to feel that suicide is your option
girl your just starting.
just think about all the good things.
..........i hope your lady councelor helps you. you deserve the help you need.
Suicide is not a option. Go talk to the councelor or anyone that might help. I know right now it seems like suidide might be the option but life does get better. I have been there and came through. If you need to talk more send me a message.
Trust me, suicide is not the answer! I don\'t think you want to do it anyway..i think you want the attention you\'d get from the attempt (which is understandable)You do need lots more therapy than every couple of weeks. I really wish you could get into an inpatient program. Please tell your school conselor exactly how you feel and about all the suicidal thoughts. That should let her see how serious this is for you and hopefully get your some more intense help. Hang in there. You have more to live for than you realize. I\'m here if you need me!