i'm just waiting for my friend to get off work so we can hang out. but i have cramps so idk how much fun i wil be and i'm not feeling the best kind of sad and a lil depressed.
my mom is still mad at me. i don't think she has eaten anything in two day's and i feel extremyl bad about that. i don't want to cause her pain and i have and now i don't knwo what to do. maybe i shouldn't have mention the age thing. but she asked me what i thought and that's what i thought.she got mad and idk.
a year ago my friend and i were talking and she said that i should prolly see somone that was a lil bit younger like late 20's to 30's or something so that i'd feel comforable wiht her and would feel that i could relate to her and things. and idk i agreed with her so that's what i alway's thought i should have as a counselor and maybe i shouldn't but i do and idk. i think she's right, all the people i have talked to have been in that age range so it just makes sence to be but maybe not to you guy's or to other people. so idk what to do now. i am gonna give this counselor a try maybe i'll end up likeing her.
i'm really scared of talking tho and sharing things again. i'm scared of finding things out and knowing that i'm not perfect. i mean i know i'm not but i have this kind of mind set that i should be and kind of try to be. but idk.
i know you guy's have heard all this stuff alread and are prolly like, we understand your scard who cares we all are but we have to do thoes things, and prolly think i'm being a baby or over reacting but i'm sorry this is how i feel and this is who i am. maybe i'm not as matured as maybe you guy's thought and i'm sorry for that, i'm sorry i disipointed you guy's but i'm not perfect and i can never be perfect.
my mom is still mad at me. i don't think she has eaten anything in two day's and i feel extremyl bad about that. i don't want to cause her pain and i have and now i don't knwo what to do. maybe i shouldn't have mention the age thing. but she asked me what i thought and that's what i thought.she got mad and idk.
a year ago my friend and i were talking and she said that i should prolly see somone that was a lil bit younger like late 20's to 30's or something so that i'd feel comforable wiht her and would feel that i could relate to her and things. and idk i agreed with her so that's what i alway's thought i should have as a counselor and maybe i shouldn't but i do and idk. i think she's right, all the people i have talked to have been in that age range so it just makes sence to be but maybe not to you guy's or to other people. so idk what to do now. i am gonna give this counselor a try maybe i'll end up likeing her.
i'm really scared of talking tho and sharing things again. i'm scared of finding things out and knowing that i'm not perfect. i mean i know i'm not but i have this kind of mind set that i should be and kind of try to be. but idk.
i know you guy's have heard all this stuff alread and are prolly like, we understand your scard who cares we all are but we have to do thoes things, and prolly think i'm being a baby or over reacting but i'm sorry this is how i feel and this is who i am. maybe i'm not as matured as maybe you guy's thought and i'm sorry for that, i'm sorry i disipointed you guy's but i'm not perfect and i can never be perfect.
Replies
I think your mom is feeling hurt. While reading the rest, please understand that I agree that you need help, that you should continue to get help. You should NOT feel guilty, or scared. You are doing the right thing. I just want to give you and idea of what I think your mom is feeling.
As much as she won\'t admit it to you, she feels a ton of guilt for what happened to you. She\'s sad and mad at herself that she couldn\'t protect her baby girl, and that her son turned out to be abusive. She\'s getting the double whammy.
To her, you going to someone for help means that she failed as a mother. She should be able to provide everything to you, and now she can\'t help your problem. That makes her feel inadequate.
You were super strong when you wrote your letter to her. Now, go out to where she is and be strong. Grab her in a big bear hug, tell her it\'s NOT her fault. Tell her she didn\'t fail. Tell her that you appreciate how hard it was for her to get you someone to talk to. Tell her she did the RIGHT thing, you are doing the RIGHT thing.
And don\'t discount us old people. I know it\'s hard for you wet-behind-the-ears punks to realize that we WERE YOUNG TOO :) :grin:
i dont think ure overreacting, sure uve repeated some stuff, but i do that all the time. its just how you feel and if how u feel doesnt change, then whatever, thats fine, i think its nice to be able to let out how you feel though without so many negative reactions to it
i think sstucker said pretty much everything i was going to...
luv ya girl
chasity