AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm getting so pissed off with my computer. i wrote out this journal entry and i hit save and then my page came up with "page not found" AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE WEHN IT DOES THAT. if there were a nother face on there that was wores that horrible i would have that right now!!
I WILL STICK WITH THE FRICKIN COUNSELOR!!!!I DON'T MIND HER SHE IS FINE. I WILL PROLLY END UP LIKING HER AND THAT SCARED ME!! I FEEL LIKE A BABAY RIGHT KNOW AND I KNOW I'M PROLLY ACTING LITK ONE AND I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I'M JUST SOOOO PISED RIGHT NOW. THE ONLY THINK I DIDNT LIEK ABOUT THE COUNSELOR IS THAT SHE MADE ME FEEL STUPID A COUPLE TIMES AND I HATE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS PHSYICALLY ABOUSE OR EOMOTIONALLY ABOUSE AND I SAID I WAS PROLLY MORE EMOTIONALLY ABOUSED ADN SHE ASKED ME TO EXPLAIN THAT AND WHEN I COULD SHE GAVE ME THIS LOOK LIEK I PROLLY WASNT' IF I COULDN'T GIVER HER SOME KIND OF ANSER OF HOW I WAS. I MEAN I'M SORRY I COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT AND I'M SURE MOST PEOPLE CAN BUT I COULDN'T AND I'M SORRY THAT I COULDN'T BUT THAT DOESN'T ME SHE HAS TO MAKE ME FEEL STUPID ABOUT IT. AHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT. MY MOM IS UP IN HER ROOM WIHT THE DOOR CLOSED AND I'M PISSED BECAUSE SHE'S PISSED AND IDK...... I JUST FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING I FEEL IDK DIEING I FEEL LIKE LEAVING THIS STUPID PLACE CALL EARTH. PEOPLE SAY GOD DIDN'T GIVE US ANYTHING WE COULDN'T HANDLE AND I USE TO BELIEVE THAT BUT I THINK GOD GAVE ME SOMETHING MAYBE EVEN SOMEONE THAT I CAN'T HANDLE I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I CAN'T I CAN'T AND I'M SICK OF TRYING I'M SICK OF DOING EVERYHTING FOR EVERYONE ELSE I HAVE THE PERSON I AM. I CARE TOOO MUCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY THINK AND I HAVE OT DO CERTAIN STUFF TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AND MAKE THEM PROUND OF ME THAT I DONT' DO THINGS TAHT I'M PROUD OF THAT I CAN SAY YA I DID THAT FOR ME. NO I CAN'T BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYTHING I DO IT'S FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR SATIFACTORY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IS NOT GOOOD NOT GOOD AT ALL.
GOD MAYBE TODAY IS THE DAY I TRY OUT SOME OF MY PLANS FOR SUICIDE! IDK I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT BUT IT SEEMS RIGHT TO ME RIGHT NOW
I WILL STICK WITH THE FRICKIN COUNSELOR!!!!I DON'T MIND HER SHE IS FINE. I WILL PROLLY END UP LIKING HER AND THAT SCARED ME!! I FEEL LIKE A BABAY RIGHT KNOW AND I KNOW I'M PROLLY ACTING LITK ONE AND I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I'M JUST SOOOO PISED RIGHT NOW. THE ONLY THINK I DIDNT LIEK ABOUT THE COUNSELOR IS THAT SHE MADE ME FEEL STUPID A COUPLE TIMES AND I HATE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS PHSYICALLY ABOUSE OR EOMOTIONALLY ABOUSE AND I SAID I WAS PROLLY MORE EMOTIONALLY ABOUSED ADN SHE ASKED ME TO EXPLAIN THAT AND WHEN I COULD SHE GAVE ME THIS LOOK LIEK I PROLLY WASNT' IF I COULDN'T GIVER HER SOME KIND OF ANSER OF HOW I WAS. I MEAN I'M SORRY I COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT AND I'M SURE MOST PEOPLE CAN BUT I COULDN'T AND I'M SORRY THAT I COULDN'T BUT THAT DOESN'T ME SHE HAS TO MAKE ME FEEL STUPID ABOUT IT. AHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT. MY MOM IS UP IN HER ROOM WIHT THE DOOR CLOSED AND I'M PISSED BECAUSE SHE'S PISSED AND IDK...... I JUST FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING I FEEL IDK DIEING I FEEL LIKE LEAVING THIS STUPID PLACE CALL EARTH. PEOPLE SAY GOD DIDN'T GIVE US ANYTHING WE COULDN'T HANDLE AND I USE TO BELIEVE THAT BUT I THINK GOD GAVE ME SOMETHING MAYBE EVEN SOMEONE THAT I CAN'T HANDLE I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I CAN'T I CAN'T AND I'M SICK OF TRYING I'M SICK OF DOING EVERYHTING FOR EVERYONE ELSE I HAVE THE PERSON I AM. I CARE TOOO MUCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY THINK AND I HAVE OT DO CERTAIN STUFF TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AND MAKE THEM PROUND OF ME THAT I DONT' DO THINGS TAHT I'M PROUD OF THAT I CAN SAY YA I DID THAT FOR ME. NO I CAN'T BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYTHING I DO IT'S FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR SATIFACTORY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IS NOT GOOOD NOT GOOD AT ALL.
GOD MAYBE TODAY IS THE DAY I TRY OUT SOME OF MY PLANS FOR SUICIDE! IDK I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT BUT IT SEEMS RIGHT TO ME RIGHT NOW
Replies
You\'re gonna be ok! Just pray and pray for God to help you deal with this. I am praying for you too! Suicide is never the answer! You really do have so much to live for! It may not seem like it right now, but you can have a wonderful life ahead of you! You\'re in my prayers!
You\'ll be fine! Couselors often do that actually... Just wait it out a few more times. It will get better I promise... If not, change therapists. You\'ll find one you\'ll like.
hang in there, hopefully itll get better. i hate when people make me feel stupid. its hard to explain emotions and i hate the way people look at me sometimes too.