i fell guilty everyday! i feel like dieing everyday. i don't understand how he could have done that to me. i don't understand why i went along with it. how i could think it was ok. people say that i wouldn't have understood what was going on i was only 8 but i feel like i did like i knew what was going on but i let it happen...someday's i think i wanted it to happen...it just became normal to do what we did. but i feel so discusted and i hate myself i can't stand to think thoes thought's. i guess that's why i started cutting, i don't do it anymore but i get to where i do and it hurts so bad not to!
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I am so sorry to hear about the things that have happened. Maybe at 8 you didn\'t understand completely what was going on because my abuse started at 5 years old and when I told my G-ma, she told me to never say that again so I thought I had said something wrong. She then started beating me. I would have to wear long sleeve shirts and pants to school so no one found out. There seemed to be no getting away from the abuse because I was guarded all of the time, and the windows were nailed shut to keep me from running away. I was in prison it seemed like. I did not fully understand and thought i deserved this trauma, until I was 13 years old. I finally told my aunt who called DSS and they took me out of there. The best thing by far that could ever happen. Now I completely understand what happened and that it was not my fault but it has been a long road. Don\'t give up! I have alot of hate for them and that will never change but, I am a very loving person other than that. I have a wonderful man in my life who supports me with all of the feelings and I also have 3 beautiful children. God has helped me through it all so have faith. God never gives us anything we can\'t handle even though sometimes it doesn\'t seem that way. Trust Him! I am here if you want to talk.
Your friend