Dread
Okay, so this weekend is my birthday. I'm travelling to my parents house, much to my chagrin. I'm so dreading this trip. My brother has already told me that mom is extremely difficult. She's all worked up over things that she wants to have done, but my brother refuses to help her, according to mother. She's fed up that it's all about caring for dad. Well, hell, he's the one that fell and busted his head open. What it is, it's that my brother is tired of her being so controlling and overly critical over how he does other things. Her need to control is more pronounced since things got more out of control with their aging issues.
My mother is behaving like a spoiled brat. I'm in no mood for this crap-here I am, having to suffer as well while my husband is locked up. I'm the one that has to be strong for everybody, has to work my ass off to survive, and now I have to put up with her childish behavior. I know, I know, supposed to be the dutiful daughter and support my brother and help him help mom and dad. Don't get me wrong, I'm cool with helping them, I just don't want her to get all hateful with me, order me around like I'm indebted to her, and talk at me and criticize constantly. But no, she throws a crying tantrum if she doesn't get her way. My gut tells me that she wishes I would just pack up, leave the life I have here and leave my husband and move in with them and care for them 24/7. She won't say anything though-instead, she'll just be all passive aggressive.
To an extent, I'm exaggerating, but, I'm totally stressed out about this trip. No matter what I do, I feel as though it'll be one big giant shit sandwich, can't win for losing kind of scenario and will want to get back as quickly as possible. Happy F***ing birthday.
And, now she has a cold again. She went from zero to 90 last week, and now she's down with a cold. So, she'll be resting while I wait on both of them hand and foot. Well, I'm tired too and have had enough.
My mother is behaving like a spoiled brat. I'm in no mood for this crap-here I am, having to suffer as well while my husband is locked up. I'm the one that has to be strong for everybody, has to work my ass off to survive, and now I have to put up with her childish behavior. I know, I know, supposed to be the dutiful daughter and support my brother and help him help mom and dad. Don't get me wrong, I'm cool with helping them, I just don't want her to get all hateful with me, order me around like I'm indebted to her, and talk at me and criticize constantly. But no, she throws a crying tantrum if she doesn't get her way. My gut tells me that she wishes I would just pack up, leave the life I have here and leave my husband and move in with them and care for them 24/7. She won't say anything though-instead, she'll just be all passive aggressive.
To an extent, I'm exaggerating, but, I'm totally stressed out about this trip. No matter what I do, I feel as though it'll be one big giant shit sandwich, can't win for losing kind of scenario and will want to get back as quickly as possible. Happy F***ing birthday.
And, now she has a cold again. She went from zero to 90 last week, and now she's down with a cold. So, she'll be resting while I wait on both of them hand and foot. Well, I'm tired too and have had enough.
Replies
Wow, this sounds a lot like my situation with my parents. My mom is judgmental, she is mean about my dad. She wants attention and he is the one that is wonderful, sweet, and sickly and frail. But we dote on him, and she starts being nasty to him, or she decides she has some terrible ailment and she is sure she is going to die. Oh it goes on and on. I could tell you a lot more, but I want to tell you right now, I get it. I know how you feel. I go through it all of the time with her.
She demands we have Christmas together with ALL of the family , and a lot of us don\'t even like each other. It is awful.
She demands we do birthday parties, and none of us really have the time or care if we do it or not. Then she gets all whiny and nasty.
I go there almost every week, if I get two days in a row off. So this last week, my son and his gf had another baby. I had to go there 3 days to help babysit their 18 month old. Well mom had a fit that I wasn\'t coming to her house. I told her to come see me at my son\'s. Oh she whined to my brother about it, but he blasted her, and told her this time was NOT about them. That this is my son, that needs help so stop it.
I know she would love me to give up my life and move in with them. She said so. She hates my fiance. Oh well, get over it. I did try last year to work in MN, and stayed with them to help them. She drove me crazy, so I left and came back home. I can\'t do it!
I almost gave in last week, packed up the 18 month old and my 9 yr old granddaughter, to go see them. BUT.. then she pissed me off with her whining, so I didn\'t go. I said Come here, I am NOT coming there. It is too hard to get the kid in the car seat, bring all her crap with to just come a few miles, when you just hop in the car with no hassle. So they did. Then she complained my son who had just came home with the new baby didn\'t talk to her enough, and his gf who was on a lot of pain killers barely spoke to her. NO MOM, she was on percoset and oxycotin...in pain, from a C section, and getting her tubes tied. She just didn\'t care or listen, she still is bitching about it. I didn\'t even call her much lately. Can\'t listen to it.
Well, I better go, I went on more than I was going to. You hit a nerve. But I wanted to tell you I completely understand how you feel. I live it too.