Well, it is almost one year now since I lost my husband to sudden cardiac arrest and I am still second-guessing myself about things I should have caught but didn't. Things like Don being unable to eat more than a fork or two of some of his previously favorite foods; if he tried to eat more at my behest, he kept saying he would get sick. I think it was because his body was starting to shut down and I didn't know at the time what was happening. I kept urging him to eat more despite the fact that he just couldn't. Several weeks before he died, his pulse was starting to get irregular and his legs were getting heavier and heavier.
After his passing, I have read about what happens to people's bodies as they get ready to die. Loss of appetite and even drinking fluids, becomes uncomfortable if not downright impossible. They start to withdraw more and more from this world and things they used to enjoy no longer provide the joy they used to.
I wish I had recognized what was happening to Don so I could have said "I love you" one more time and said goodbye.