Update

Hello SOTH - I went to the Umbrella Ministries conference this past week-end for Moms who have lost a child or children. It was an awesome experience to be around 80 or so moms who "get it". One look in their eyes and there is an immediate connection. It didn't really matter what the reason was that caused that child to leave this earth - it was just moms, heart to heart. I know you all have experienced that on the annual retreat but I had not experienced meeting so many moms....anyway I will tell you about the week-end so like everyone else if I start to ramble - sorry.
I went by myself as I wanted to be open to meeting people and the only other mom I know was busy anyway so it worked out. Almost immediately upon arrival, you are handed a gift bag filled with a journal, thin book on forgiveness & hope, pen, magnet, book mark, candle, tea bag...then you go to a table with a picture of your child so that a button could be made as well as your name tag...It was here that I started to cry and needless to say, my tears flowed pretty freely all week-end. Then went to the ballroom, decorated so warm & inviting, immediately greeted by Sheryl who asked me to sit with her @ her table. She runs a group twice a month for moms to talk, vent, etc.....The speaker Friday nite was the CEO of Umbrella Ministries. She lost her only child, her son, about 30 years ago...She began this non-profit to help other moms. She used humor, empathy, compassion but yet wisdom to give me hope on this road.
This is a Christian based ministry so God is definitely @ the center. Friday eve after the speaker, 1st time attendees were escorted to a room where we made a bracelet in sterling silver. You were handed a bag with your child's letters and fastener and wire - then there was a table full of beads of all kinds....beautiful, sparkly, silver, gold, etc....all donated..so we spent about an hour making our bracelet, finished it with help of others who had tools to "make it look good"....it was a great way to unwind......
Sat. morning we were placed in Circles of Love - you were put in a group (4 - 5 ) of other moms whose child left this earth because of ........ That was such a blessing to talk one on one and the leader gently guided this group....sharing, crying, hugging.....it was well worth it. We met 4 times during the week-end to just sit with each other. The workshops (2 in morning) and 2 in afternoon...I attended Nutrition class, how to comfort, guided journaling and grief & depression. They all were excellent, taught by moms who not only are professional women, but all have lost a child/children so they "get it".
Nutrition class was probably about the best - not about food but how a broken heart affects everything about our body - stress levels are increased, thus increasing all of our blood levels, sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides....it is no secret that we don't take care of ourselves so the statistics are not good for bereaved parents.....We were gently asked to pick maybe 3 things we coud committ to for 6 months...whether reading a book, walking twice/week,. listen to our favorite music.....you get the point - to try and take care of ourself.
Sat eve. ended with a candle light ceremony....we each had a candle....we lined up against the wall, and as we reached the front, we were hugged individually by a mom who comes to this conference just to hug each one of us, our candle is lit and we walk up to a microphone and SAY OUR CHILD'S NAME...Teri, I so thought of you, as we love to hear our child's name. With the lights off, as each candle was lit and one by one, each mom saying their child's or children's name....I lost it.....sobbing, I didn't think I could say Jennifer Ann Cox - but I know nobody can say Jennifer like her mama so as hard as it was I said JENNIFER ANN COX.....We were asked to blow a kiss, blow our candle out....we sang "this little light of mine".....SIGH.....Then another bracelet room of a memory bracelet...I didn't stay but received the bracelet parts the next day....
Sunday morn - breakfast, 2 amazing women who have lost children,how they cope...with grace, humor, and compassion, they touched my heart....more tears.....To finalize the morning and conference, we picked up a yellow balloon that were being held in a room, wrote a message with a Sharpie and all at once, said "here it comes" and watched 80 or so yellow balloons float to heaven....very moving and more tears.....
I am so grateful that I met so many women who are just like me - grieving every day. There are 2 in particular that I will be keeping in contact with.....I told every mom I met about you all. The web site, YOU.... I so wished I was meeting each of you in person as I feel like I know all of you without ever meeting you in person.
I am tired today and very emotional - but I couldn't wait to tell you.....As I sort through the materials I received, I will be journaling to share but for now.....Sending much love. Vicki