Thursday
Hello - good morning SOTH's. I had plans to write on Saturday with a tribute to my mom - she has been gone for 2 years. I spent that day so busy that kept me from "crying" all day, but as you all know, my heart seems like it's always crying. I miss my mom so much - she was my best friend, and all those chats with her everyday, I long for @ times. My new normal - I am grateful that my mom was not here to see my heartache as my daughter would be in heaven just 7 months later. God is good, in that He knew I needed to lean on Him and not so much my mom. In saying that - I just miss them both so much.
Easter was okay in that I did go to a brunch @ a friends house - I got through the day knowing the real reason for Easter, but again, I sure miss them both.
Now, the dreaded Mother's Day for me. - my heart is heavy wishing & hoping that THAT day won't come. For me, not having my mom here and my only child not here brings feelings of numbness and heart felt sadness.....it is just so hard sometimes. I try to be positive but today this is how I feel.
We are somewhat winding down our school year - 38 more days..:) I am so looking forward to not having to be @ work, pretending I'm good on days that I don't "feel" good. I will have Hunter for 2 weeks which I'm already planning for. I'm grateful for him, he's doing well, just would like him closer....
I think I have caught you all up on what's going on - for now.....So grateful for all of you and that I can come here anytime knowing I will be listened to. :) Sending much love & hugs. Vicki
Easter was okay in that I did go to a brunch @ a friends house - I got through the day knowing the real reason for Easter, but again, I sure miss them both.
Now, the dreaded Mother's Day for me. - my heart is heavy wishing & hoping that THAT day won't come. For me, not having my mom here and my only child not here brings feelings of numbness and heart felt sadness.....it is just so hard sometimes. I try to be positive but today this is how I feel.
We are somewhat winding down our school year - 38 more days..:) I am so looking forward to not having to be @ work, pretending I'm good on days that I don't "feel" good. I will have Hunter for 2 weeks which I'm already planning for. I'm grateful for him, he's doing well, just would like him closer....
I think I have caught you all up on what's going on - for now.....So grateful for all of you and that I can come here anytime knowing I will be listened to. :) Sending much love & hugs. Vicki
Replies
Hi Vicki... losing your mom is second only to losing your child...
I know its no comfort that I feel they are together now, eternally, until its time for you to join them.
Mothers Day... I agree, I\'d love to wipe it off the calendar, even though I\'m fortunate to have my Kate .
I remember the first mothers day after my mom died, I went to work on Monday and was asked how my mothers day was.. my reply was \"I don\'t do that any more\".. of course, that wasn\'t totally truthful now, I have celebrated my being a mom, and my daughters being moms, but MY mom has been gone for about 15 years now... sigh...
Hugs, MaryLou
These are the heartfelt realities that you are living into as best as you are able and that is enough... More than enough dearest Vicki. Missing your mom and your beautiful Jennifer is felt deeply and held gently with understanding and care.
I got a smile over the \"38\" days as I remember the countdown as well. Having Hunter, your bright light for two weeks will be such a gift for the two of you. Have fun planning! :)
Hand in hand and Heart to heart always,
With love,
XO Joanie
I,am sorry you lost your mom. and your daughter. iI lost my mom, and my daughter also and my brother father before i was 23... .. I was real close to my mom. but when i lost my daughter that was the worse day of my life. but it is a long journey filled with good days and bad days. Glad you only have 39 days to wait till your vacation and your vist from Hunter for 2 great weeks. hope you have a nice week bless your angels. hugs maey ann
Hi Vicki. My daughter was my best friend. Life is somewhat hollow without her. I am so sorry you lost the 2 most important people in your life so close together.
Mother\'s Day is like rubbing salt in the wound. I am so glad you come here when you need to. I like to see those stone footprints!
Tight hugs,
Marlene
Hi Vicki, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and your daughter. I am with you in dreading Mother\'s Day. I wish we could just skip it. I\'m glad you get to spend some special time with Hunter. I hope you have a wonderful time together. I am sure you will! Hugs, Paula
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. I so understand about the paradox of knowing and seeing the reasons for things and just missing the physicality of our loved ones. I hope Hunters visit will help heal you in abundance. Love you Vicki, Lauri
Oh Mother\'s Day, such a tough day for so many. If I had some advise for making the day gentler I\'d certainly share it but I don\'t. All I can offer is that I will surely be holding onto each of your hands tightly and sharing the understanding with love for our children.
Enjoy your time with Hunter, may it renew your spirit.
XOXO, Debbie
I only recently said to my grandson that I hate mothers day now... and I hate that I did... he didn\'t need to carry that... but I do hate it so. I try to cling to the hope that my mom and Cara are together... I try to comfort myself with that... Sometimes... a lot of the time... all we can do is hang on.