Wednesday
Hello SOTH - Just a quick journal this am before I start work. I had an amazing week-end with a very close friend at the beach. The beach is my favorite place and I truly am able to relax and breathe and just BE. In saying that, every day is becoming so difficult for me emotionally. The anticipation of coming to that year mark is so heavy on my heart. What will change? nothing. My daughter is still not here. Is it the reality has FINALLY set in?
I read all of your journals, responses and know in my head that one day @ a time, one second at a time, I will make it BUT some days it doesn't feel like it....I miss my daughter so much and miss talking to my mom....she would make it 'ALL BETTER", wouldn't she?
Bell just rang here @ work - gotta go - keep me in your thoughts - I just feel like I'm in a dark place in my heart and it hurts.
Sending you hugs and much love today! Vicki
I read all of your journals, responses and know in my head that one day @ a time, one second at a time, I will make it BUT some days it doesn't feel like it....I miss my daughter so much and miss talking to my mom....she would make it 'ALL BETTER", wouldn't she?
Bell just rang here @ work - gotta go - keep me in your thoughts - I just feel like I'm in a dark place in my heart and it hurts.
Sending you hugs and much love today! Vicki
Replies
Praying for your heart and shoulders to be a little lighter today...no, everyday. You are brave to just get up in the morning. It is so hard to believe that a year has even gone by, isn\'t it? A whole year of unfathomable grief..and yet somehow we are still breathing. Our moms would be great to have around, but at least our kids have them now....still I too want my mom...lauri
The first few years seemed to be incredibly agonizing for me. It is still but not with the intensity it was previously. Sometimes you feel like you hit a brick wall and need to rest to recuperate. All holidays are now bittersweet, at least for me.
With love and prayers,
Leda
Grateful that you had your ocean fix and truly, I really tried to rest in the thoughts of the moms who are a few steps further along on this path that the days leading up might feel more painful than the actual day. For me, generally this has been true and to awaken to the \"day after\" and know that I made it is huge. You will experience this as well my friend, I know you will.
You are not alone with anything and everything that is coming into your mind and heart. I am hopeful that brings some kind of comfort that is so sorely needed.
Keep breathing deeply and doing something very kind and gentle for yourself daily.
With you, caring and sending the tightest healing hugs that I have and your Jennifer is never forgotten, none of our children are...
Love,
XO Joanie
You\'re in my thoughts & prayers Vicki. Wishing you peace sweet friend.
I love that you can relax and be. The ocean is my favourite place to be. Unfortunately, there are some huge mountains between me and the beach.
Angel days are hard. As Joanie said, breathe deeply and know that Jennifer is never forgotten.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
not all moms make things better,,,, like mine!! prayers and hugs to you my friend.... love ya!
Vicki, sending love and wishes for peace as you approach Jennifer\'s Angel date. May the day be gentle on your grieving heart...
Linda
Just know that you are not alone & your precious daughter, Jennifer will never be forgotten. Neither will you :)
(((HUGS)))...Julia
Understanding those dark places....
The first year angel date was the hardest and also the most incredible for me. All the anxiety building up to the day was horrible. I was fortunate enough to be able to \"run away\" for two weeks. While \"hiding\" Kala found me....BIG TIME!
Jennifer will continue to \"find you\" in ways you will recognize. Staying open to seeing them is the trick when the pain rushes in so severely.
Keep breathing and keep sharing my friend~~
i KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH I ALSO LLOST MY DAUGHTER 11 YEARS AGO. AND I STILL MISS HER AND THE FIRST FEW YEARS I THOUGHT I WAS GOING INSANE. BUT AS TIME WENT ON IT WAS LESS INTENSE. . BLESS YOUR ANGEL BIG WARM HUG MARY ANN