Saturday morning
Hello SOTH - It is a beautiful morning - sun is out, a slight breeze and I can hear the birds celebrating the morning as well. This was a long week - after being so emotional on Mother's Day, I felt exhausted all week so I feel more rested this morning.
I have been checking out other storage units that are cheaper than what I pay now with my daughter's stuff. My storage unit is $160.00 monthly starting June 1st and I can't afford that so whether I want to or not I need to move her things. There are so many things that will be donated, sold, keep what I can - I have been slowly going through things but had to stop for a month due to knee problems. When someone is a hoarder, they keep everything that makes no sense to me but to my daughter it all had a meaning. So even though so many boxes can be thrown out, it's emotional for me because I see the insaneness of keeping "stuff" . I tried so many times through the years to help her clean, but it always went back to the same - Jennifer used to say that all her stuff around her helped her "feel safe". Wish I could have done that for her, but couldn't. Love her regardless, just so much stuff.....
I pray you all have a great day and remember how blessed we really are.
Vicki
I have been checking out other storage units that are cheaper than what I pay now with my daughter's stuff. My storage unit is $160.00 monthly starting June 1st and I can't afford that so whether I want to or not I need to move her things. There are so many things that will be donated, sold, keep what I can - I have been slowly going through things but had to stop for a month due to knee problems. When someone is a hoarder, they keep everything that makes no sense to me but to my daughter it all had a meaning. So even though so many boxes can be thrown out, it's emotional for me because I see the insaneness of keeping "stuff" . I tried so many times through the years to help her clean, but it always went back to the same - Jennifer used to say that all her stuff around her helped her "feel safe". Wish I could have done that for her, but couldn't. Love her regardless, just so much stuff.....
I pray you all have a great day and remember how blessed we really are.
Vicki
Replies
Hi Vicki. Thank you for the understanding comment on my journal.
Going through all our beloved children\'s treasures is so hard. It is reliving the good and the bad. I know I just wanted to scream.
I have some of Lisa\'s t-shirts - ones with the logo of her business - Ashton Mobile Spa. I love wearing them because they meant so much to Lisa but it makes me sad knowing that she can\'t be wearing them.
I can appreciate the difficulty going through Jennifer\'s things. I did most of the sorting just after Lisa died, when I was in total shock, and that was bad enough. Doing it now must be horrific.
Wishing you a peaceful weekend.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
I cannot yet go through Morgan\'s things,,, kudos to you for what you already have done,,, and hugs and prayers as you go to do more... love ya!
I had two friends go to my daughter\'s room in our house (she had the master bedroom) to box her things. Another friend moved them all, including some furniture, into a storage unit that has cost me $101.00 per month now for over a year. The house is sold. It is now necessary for her father and I to go to the storage unit and empty it of all furniture (to be donated to the local Humane Society) and move the cartons (her books, her stuffed animals, her clothing, her artwork, her collections, her notebooks full of writing) to another, hopefully much cheaper storage space. We can\'t just send it to the dump: that is HER LIFE, not its value, but its expression. When I die, if he outlives me, he inherits it. If he does not outlive me, then someone empties the storage unit and it goes to the dump and I will be dead and hopefully it won\'t matter any more. I know what you\'re enduring. I dread having to go there (I have never been to the storage unit, my friend brought everything there), and so is her Dad. This will be a traumatic day for both of us. I have no words of wisdom, only know that I am with you SOTH, in spirit and prayer.
I still have alot of Mikes things. I have a friend who makes quilts for loved ones. She started this after her hubby died. when I can I will send her Mikes clothes and material that represents his loves like football teams and cooking. One day I will get her to make a memory quilt for me of my son I will pass it on to his son one day.
hugs Penny
Don\'t push yourself and you will know when you are able to go through your daughter\'s belongings or not...
We kept some treasures, had his friends and his sister take a few and then donated the rest. It is such a personal choice and I know just touching the things that I know my son did and smelling his clothes brought me tangible, healing moments. He had a hockey bag filled with all of his gear and not until our move did we donate it. It was bittersweet, yet I just knew some young man might be in need of things they could not have otherwise. It wasn\'t easy and pulled on my heartstrings...
Lots of loving care and understanding of how it feels to have to make these decisions.
XO Joanie
Vickie, you have to go at your pace. I understand how hard it is to clear out the things of our children, Yet I am at peace getting rid of things. There is just so very much from both the girls. Little by little, it will get done. It is really only stuff and in truth it doesn\'t matter. Sent 6 bags to Vets this past week. Hoping you can have some peace as you do this task, whenever it is possible. Love, Kathy
This is such a HARD thing for us to do!! I started and stopped SO many times until I was finally able to get through it and be \"done\".
Kala was much the opposite of your sweet Jennifer in the sense that Kala gave away so much stuff all the time. As a matter of fact, she had two garbage bags full of clothes and shoes she was planning to take to the homeless shelter and Good Will. Even with them bagged and ready to go, I had to go through it all and \"make sure\"....and cry all the way to the donation stops. I\'m finally now, done. What I have left, I will keep and what I\'ve let go, I gave in LOVE and in honor of Kala....and yes, some \"crap\" I just threw away.....did that in LOVE energy too....
You will do this as you must (meaning moving to another location due to costs, etc.) and as you are able. I was told to not get rid of anything for a full year, but I gave away most of Kala\'s things during that first year....like I said, it was just her nature to do so, and so that helped me.
Whether we give things away sooner or later or never, we all have to decide what is best for us and then take a deep breath and move into that space with no regrets.
Much love and tight heart hugs~~Teri
Wow!! You are doing so much better than I did, at this short time since your loss. I know, you have to remove things from storage, it is so expensive for storage. Maybe, you can just box everything up and go through them later, when you feel able to face it. Just remove from storage and deal with sorting later.
(((HUGS)))...Julia
Vicki, I had to clean out Ed\'s apartment the weekend after he passed away or pay a full month\'s rent since he passed away early September. I figured his kids needed the money more than his landlord so myself, DIL, Ed\'s kids, Ed\'s friends & my husband just did it. I do not remember much at all about that weekend. I was on pure adrenalin & just did it..tears streaming down our faces as we worked. I guess it\'s easier that way...I didn\'t have time to think - I had to just get it done. The only thing I remember was it was a very painful experience. My grandchildren were adolescents at the time and I hurt to see them hurt. Life is so cruel. I wish we lived close by. I would help you go through Jennifer\'s things. You know, keep you company, bring you coffee. I was blessed to have help.
Be gentle on yourself. Take care of her things at your own pace and have someone with you. Love and hugs, Linda
I have very few things of Jenns... her husband let others go through her things before he called Kate and Me... I have a few sweaters, the dress she wore to my wedding. Im happy now that I \"took\" a few things (a Jim Shore mother/daughter statue that I gave her). I also have her jewelry box, but only due to other family drama that it came into my position.
Now that he\'s sold the house, its all gone.