I was so wiped out yesterday that I didn't even open up my laptop last night. Took a nap instead. Yesterday was quite a day. My ninth graders were wound up big time! They took every bit of my energy and then some. I used a Love and Logic technique I learned about earlier this year and it worked! I used the 'energy drain' on them.  I was in a major emotional funk as well--depressed, anxious, and feeling like a burden to the school rather than an asset.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster since school started.  One day I feel pretty good and that everything will be fine...I CAN DO this! Then the next day I am totally exhausted, my short term memory goes (wow, it REALLY left today), balance is off, depression comes, and it is such an effort to just function. Most of this week has been this way. What is the difference between this week and last? Last week I didn't do the internship. I need to face it. I just can't teach fulltime plus try to do this internship. But now I have time invested in the kids and have begun to build rapport and I really don't want to start all over again. But...something happened yesterday that was a little scary. I was reading a quiz aloud to students (many need this accommodation so I just read it to all) and suddenly I couldn't get the next word out. I paused only briefly and then the word came out, but the rest of the reading was not like I usually do. I'm a great oral reader--that is one of the strengths that I have...and I don't think anyone noticed except me...but then I heard 'tears' in my voice...which I made a point to get rid of. I wanted to just collapse onto the floor and be done with students and papers and anything related to education. But I hung in there and was 'okay' (at least on the outside). I came home feeling like such a loser and feeling that I had really let my co-teacher down. I wasn't mean to her, but I wasn't nice either. I was abrupt and short when she asked me a question. That was not fair to her. I was upset because she would tell our students that if they couldn't behave, then they wouldn't be able to work in partners. Well, they didn't behave and she kept giving them second chances. By the time it was my turn to teach, they were wild. So I was not a happy person that they had gotten all riled up, been warned 3 to 4 times w/o consequences, and now I had to settle them down. Amazingly, I did get them very settled down, thanks to the new Love and Logic technique I had learned about. They were good again today and the class went well. Still and all... I'm tapering off of the prednisone. I'm almost done with it but won't be able to take tonight's dose as I left them at school! I can only hope that this won't mean a difficult morning for me. I wonder how much of this week I can blame on the steroids as far as my emotional state goes?  Need to read what I assigned to my students in the novel we are reading. Think I'll get a bowl of ice cream and try to keep my eyes open for a few more minutes. Then...beddy-bye, here I come!