Lost
This last week has been bearable. I have been busy catching up with my first graders! THey are just happy to have their teacher back. The consensus was that my baby was in heaven. No one has mentioned anything since! So when I am with them, I don't really think much! It's when I am alone is the problem. I still can't believe it and it's so hard to talk or think about it. I want the milky boobs and the unstoppable bleeding to go away so I can at least feel normal. I feel like it's a constant reminder!! I am so angry to be at this place again..
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I don\'t know what to say but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hey- so glad you posted again-I think about you so often and continue to pray for you for your strength to handle one day at a time. Do you have anyone you can talk to or email with who knows what you are going through? I know there is a support group here on DS. It may be a helpful to talk with someone who knows exactly what you are feeling. I know it wouldn\'t take the pain or anger away, but it might help you feel temporarily better, and I think at this point, that is a good thing to strive for. I know it must feel good to be busy at work and not have to have your mind to yourself for part of the day. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer and was going through chemo, my \'work mind\' breaks got me through the day--but it only took me a moment alone in between my appointments to be riding the emotional roller coaster again. (((hugs to you)))
I have tears in my eyes for you - REALLY I DO! I just miscarried a few weeks ago, but I don\'t even compare my experience with yours, because I couldn\'t imagine how hard of a time this must be for you considering everything I read on your last journal. I\'m praying endlessly for you and for the strength to get thru this - I\'m so sorry you have to deal with this devestation in the first place.
I\'m feeling very sad today myself - and when I think of you, my heart just breaks - it\'s not fair, it\'s not right and I\'m mad just as I know you are. I\'m mad for all woman who have to go thru this, I wish I could somewhat \"understand\" why these things happen - but I just can\'t and I wish so much I could take the pain away from you and from all of us.
I\'m here for you anytime, please know that - one day at a time is what I keep telling myself. Staying busy is helpful but you also need to feel what you need to feel and grieve the way you need to, so you can begin to heal. Your baby will always be with you in your heart and soul.
AGAIN, I\'m so so soooooooooo sorry sweetie!!!
I have been hoping to hear back from you....I just want you to know that I have been thinking about you and praying that God we just keep working on your heart and healing you emotionally.
Just sending you another hug for strength. All you can do is keep breathing, day by day. I know the pain must be unimagineable. It does get better. We are here for you.
Thanks so much ladies, I sOOO appreciate the encouragement
I can\'t tell you how many times I think of you and pray for you and ask God, \"Why Browngurl30\"? I do all the time..you are always on my mind. I\'m sure you are living a nightmare right now...waking up and hoping it was a dream. I just want you to know I am always praying for you!!!!! xoxo