UGH...

Today I am quite emotional. I went to the gym which is the local YMCA and there were so many families, mothers, children, I feel so horrible! I know I should be happy that I am taking my BCPS and such and hopefully I will be pregnant in a few weeks but I dread starting work on Monday with the school being full of pregnant women. I was suppose to go back pregnant!!! I feel so sick to my stomach! I am filled with anger, hurt, resentment, fear, and hurt. I am scared this cycle might get canceled or just doesn't work. It seems to be the track record for me!! I am completely down in the dumps today and trying to dig my way out. I refuse to talk to anyone because they don't get it, so why cry to them??...I am soooo tired of this journey. It has been 5 long years and I am tired...