Today it my first day joining this support group, I had felt alone for so long, no one my family or friends had ever been though this so they didn't know what I was going through, it's easy to pass judgement, Once a cheater always a cheater, but I Love him so much it's not that easy to just toss him out, there are so many gray areas, Each day is getting a little more painless, but there are moments when I feel like I am being dragged back down again, this time yesterday I didn't it let me drag me down, I fought hard to stay positive and try to trust him, Im scared to get the nextel bill because what if 5172949520 is all over the bill, there is no missing time not since Decmeber but still, but I feel differently today ,I fell as if things are getting better, I don't hurt as much I don't feel as sad ,I love my husband very very much , and I think we might have a fighting chance , I hope im not being hopeless romantic and get run over by that freight train again. we'll see.
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My heart goes out to you as i too am in your shoes. I am at the crossroads of love and anger. My wife\'s infidelity while due to a lethal combination of poor judgement/ignorance and the effects of Bipolar mania, still left me with the thoughts of 4 affairs over 8 months to unsavory people. I have witnessed her mental bottoming out and the pity and shame she has right now. I love her to death and frankly can\'t imagine life without her. It leaves you in a horrible pickle. I know I feel like less of a man for staying, however I feel like a true lover for wanting her to get her treatments and be there for her. It really sucks either way. I can\'t get the thoughts of revenge against these people out of my head. I feel forgiveness is probably the best route and forget the others. Anyone with suggestions, I\'m listening. Again, sorry for your pain, I know exactly what you\'re feeling.