Update
Well I am still BPing, but still hopeful. Yesterday was really bad, but I had my first OP meeting yesterday and it went well, so I am hoping that I will get the support I need to stop the madness. My husband is really stressed out from work and its kind of stressing me out. I am really mad at him because we were planning to see my family on the 14th, and then he starts changing his mind. He has only seen my family once, for 2 days. Mind you, we have been married for 4 years, been together for 5. It has been so long since I have seen my family, but I know they would be hurt if I only went to visit them by myself. So anyways, he starts telling me, oh we can't afford it, I have to work, blah blah blah. So the plan is that we will go on the 14th (I live in Cali, my fam lives in Colorado) But after work. We will drive in LA traffic at 4:30 PM, which means that it will take about 3 hours just to get out of LA. Then we will drive all night, and prob get a hotel, and not be in Colorado until Friday evening. Then of course he will prob sleep most of sat, and then leave sunday at noon and fly home by himself while I stay till the end of the week. I am really upset by this plan, but at least hes going at all. He does not know that this means a lot to me. I won't even recognize my sisters and I have grown so apart from them. They have been dying to see him, and they will only get a glimpse. So yesterday, while I was high with anxiety waiting for his decision (which I didn't get until this morning, and he hn't bought thre ticket so he could change his mind) I binged more than I have ever before. I pulled a stomach musle from the amout I ate, it wasscary, but In my mind Iwas like "I'll show him" when really, I was just hurting myself. I am on celexa and it is helping with my depression, but making me really edgy and anxious. I am actually grinding my teeth and now I have restless leg syndrome. and tremors. I think the side effects will wear off, and I don't know why but I kind of like this feeling.
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