Since an early age I've suffered from a condition of which one of the symptoms is that I gradually lose the use of my fingers. Doesn't sound very glamorous and it's not, it hasn't earned me a single day off work... hmph! Anyway, in my right hand it has progressed to the point where it's causing lots of problems, not in the lifting a drink to my lips kinda way =;o) but I have great difficulty getting change out of my pockets (maybe that's a good thing?), I have trouble working a mouse and typing, plus anything requiring me to lie my hand flat (clapping, cleaning windows, washing the car, etc.) is very difficult. Thanks to my employers modest medical insurance, I've seen a specialist who has suggested surgery to try and correct the worst effects and give me better use of my hand. No guarantee of success but then it probably won't be any worse either so two or three weeks with it in plaster, a few months of physio and not being able to ride the motorbike much this year seems like a fair deal. Last Wednesday I had the tests and signed my consent forms and the countdown to surgery has started.

Oh and here's an advantage to being diabetic - because you have to fast before a general anaesthetic, you get to be first on the surgeons list for the day otherwise your Bg levels get screwed. Yeah, I knew diabetes had an upside!

So, two or three weeks with my right hand in plaster, let's think about that...

Washing - Yeah I'll manage. Trick is to keep the hand dry while I'm splashing around like a four year old in the bath, trying to wash with my left hand. Actually, drying myself afterwards is likely to be more tricky but then I can always just walk around stark naked until I eventually dry! Note to self, make sure net curtains on all windows, and don't answer the door! Oh and if the phone goes, don't mention that I'm standing there naked, it tends to upset people.

Eating - Cherry tomatoes. Porridge. Beer. Anything you can microwave. More beer. Bananas. Soup from easy-to-open cartons. Mashed potato, so long as someone else mashes it. Pub food... with beer. Stuff you can eat off paper plates.

The Loo - Come one, if I didn't mention it you'd only have asked! Well I'm sure I'll manage - we blokes are ambidextrous you know.

The Cat - Ah, now here's the problem. How to open tins of cat food?? The cat will only eat one brand of cat food and it comes in these tiny individual cans with a ring-pull top. But that's not the worst of it... This cat is 22 years old and so has a box in a room of her own (helps keep the toxic aromas away from the rest of the house). Changing the box and disposing of it's contents will probably be my biggest challenge, and it's not the kind of thing you can ask a visitor to do as a favour!

Other than that it should be interesting. If I can hold a book in my left hand and manage to turn the pages then I'll be catching up on the pile of unread Christmas and birthday gifts beside the bed. If not, then I'll soon be a daytime TV zombie on a diet of agony aunt, soaps and shopping channels. So to anyone who knows me, if I start to become unresponsive or I mention the real names of actors in soap operas then please put me out of my misery - either poke me in the eye or come round and take the plug off the TV!