life

You know those times when you are just getting by and the is absolutely no enthusiasm in life but you are making it.Sometimes you are very happy for that. I have been very happy for that, the last 6 mo. after going through 2 or 3 years of depression.So I am getting back to, oh yeah I can have fun again and have  hope for the future. For many years I was very carefree and playful and felt very sure in my faith. Faith in God and in people. I lost both of those along the way and do not exactly know why. I am getting those back and am thinking that I must be very intentional and conscious in keeping them. It is important for me to be intentional in who I spend time with when my faith is low, if I spend time with those with less faith predominately, my faith will not grow and will probably would wither away. When I am around those full in faith, it tends to spark growthin mine.   I have connected lately with my brother and sister through a family problem that has come up. I am starting to feel a connection that I have never had. My mother seemsto have issue with it because I think that it threatens her role in "the Family" not that it has really been a family. All communication usually is filtered through her because that is the only communication we tend to have.This seems to have brought me in as a drama target of my mother, something that I have avoided by keeping my distance in the past.So bittersweet  but mainly sweet I think.