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I have been having horrible panic attacks and I do not know what to do. I think I am having them because I have finally been feeling things and I think that is good, but it hurts.I also am feeling very disconnected and do not feel like I have anywhere to turn.I do not want to scare people away and there is nothing they can do anyway. Somedays I do not see or talk to people. I am so lonely and part of me thinks that this is only temporary and the other part feels like I will never get out and feel overwhelmed. I want to get better, I really do. Tonight I had my church group and we talked about suffering. I got so pissed and wanted to leave because I could not take the pain. We talked about why do you think God allows suffering. I still look for the positive in everything but it is so hard because the pain makes me want to lose hope.Do you ever feel like if you quit calling people or reaching out that you will just be forgotten. I do. I did not feel like that before depression. I was well connected, and it came easy.I have always felt gypted not really having family but I dealt with it and filled the space.Anyway, extra prayers help.