today

Hard to get started today. The end of the month and the beginning are always difficult for me because of the financial worries of a small business. This month not as bad. Incorperating new things and people in my life. It is a bit difficult but I am doing it.  I meet with my small group from church tonight and a little nervous. We are to share about generally about our lives. I am not sure what to share. The reason I joined was tohelp me change my life. Well the biggest change is that I have dated men for 20 years and now I left that, so I have a void in my life. It would be very hard to tell who I am for 10 minutes and leave that out.       I have not been in a hurry to date women, but now it has been on my mind more.  That will be interesting. First date:  "You are 42 and never married, why?" "Oh I have just been dating men for 20 years , thats all." It does not come out so naturally does it. It is so funny that I did not even think about it for years and then, bam.  Anyway thats all today.