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Have an interview tomorrow and I think I may take the job.Having a lot of overwhelming feelings lately but I have no way to vent. Tears do not really happen not for many years. I am willing it just does not come out.My therapist recommended a sweat lodge to release all of my past emotion. I wanted to find one when I was in New Mexico but did not have time.Lately seeing how addiction is continuously messing up my family and my brother is probably going to prison . I hope it will be a wake up call finially.His life is so much like mine years ago and  am grateful.My mother is still so messed up.I though she changed butshe is still abusive and controling and I am just seeing how addiction is touching the lives of all my family.If you are not an addict in my family you are married to one. I think in a way it is probably good that I  have a distance between my family and myself.